Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck talks about making time for extended family in today's culture

>> Dr. Jessica Peck: Hello and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show, prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner, and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck. Well, hey there, friends, and, happy fry. Yay. As my kids like to say, right in the middle of what I'm now calling Maycember. This is a trend that is going around talking about how May is just December in shorts. Like it is craziness. All of the things that are going on with school and just everything, it just seems busy. There are weddings, there are graduations, There are all the things. And today we're going to be talking about a healthy habit that can help you stay grounded in the middle of all of that chaos. If you've been following since the beginning, you know that since the beginning of this year, we've been talking about 52 habits for healthy families. And we are just, we are steaming through 2025. We are going so fast. We started in January talking about some spiritual disciplines. Then we moved to communication. And we have been talking about some priorities in the last few weeks. This summer preview will be having a summer with all things tech and tackling technology and how it's impacting our family. If you've missed out on any of these habits, go to the Dr. Nurse Mama coaching minutes. You can find it on AFA's website, afr.net their website. You can go to their app, you can go to any podcast listening app and catch these one minute catch ups. Or you can listen to any Friday show where we talk about these specific habits. And last week we talked about playing as a family, which is so important to have some fun. And this week, on week 20 of this year, we're talking about gathering with extended family. Now hang with me here because I'm going to talk about how this will really help your family be healthier. And we live in a world that just seems to be moving faster than ever. Ever. And one of the most sacred rhythms that we neglect is gathering with our extended family. Now, I'm not talking about the people who live in your house. I'm talking about the people outside of your home. And whether it's Sunday dinner, maybe it's summer reunions, maybe it's celebrating milestones like birthdays, graduations, weddings. Together, these moments really anchor us. They're not just about food and photos, although those are there. They're about passing on faith and building resilience and practicing presence. So today, let's take a deep dive into why making time for extended family really Matters not just emotionally, but spiritually and physically. And how we can reclaim this holy habit, even in today's chaotic culture. And our guiding verse comes from Hebrews 10, 24, 25. It reminds us, do not give up meeting together, but to keep encouraging one another in love and good deeds. That's spiritual family. And we'll be talking about that as well. And God's intention for families to be multi generational support systems.

Getting together with family can have many health benefits, including spiritual growth

So first of all, let's talk about the health benefits of getting together with people you love. There are emotional health benefits. It increases our sense of belonging. It helps your kids to develop a sense of identity and support as they walk alongside people who are living out the same values you are. It also helps with our spiritual growth. It gives us so many opportunities to sit down and to pass down stories, stories of faith. We call these the God stories in our life, the stories of what God has done for us. We can take time to pray together and we witness God's faithfulness over generations. But did you know it also improves your physical health? People who get together with family have reduced stress, they have less loneliness, their overall mental well being is better, lower risk of depression and greater social connections and especially for children. And it really helps with their stability and exposes them to different stages of life and faith in action. And God really used families to model, to mentor and to multiply faith. Let's look at some biblical examples of this. Because throughout Scripture, God reveals that families, both biological and spiritual families, that's a primary vehicle for passing down faith, for building character, for nurturing community. So let's look at a few powerful examples here. First of all, we have Abraham lineage of generational faithfulness. Because God's covenant with Abraham wasn't just for him, it was a promise to his descendants to bless all nations through your offspring. So we see Isaac and Jacob inheriting not only land, but faith as they encounter God personally. And it's interesting to look at this. Generational passing of a spiritual heritage shows us, hey, family's not just about DNA. It is about discipleship. Let's look at the example of Mary and Elizabeth, and some relational encouragement. When Mary learned that she would carry the Son of God, Scripture tells us she hurried over to Elizabeth's house. And Elizabeth, who was also miraculously with child, was someone who could relate. She was a mentor in motherhood. She was a safe place of encouragement. She was a shared faith. I'm sure they sat and had a meal together and shared their experiences. And it shows us how faith, family, biological, extended Family, spiritual family. It affirms God's calling and it brings us spiritual strength in uncertain seasons. Let's look at Paul and his spiritual sons. That was chosen family for kingdom growth, because we hear Paul often refer to Timothy and Titus as sons in the faith. So though they weren't related by blood, they formed very deep intentional relationships that were rooted in discipleship. This is what you should look for in your extended family. Paul modeled that Christian life. He mentored them in ministry and he empowered them to lead. So this shows us how spiritual family, especially when those biological ties are absent or broken, are just vital in growing and multiplying faith. So we see from second Timothy, Paul says, you then, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. Entrust to reliable people who will also be qualified to teach others. So together we see these examples that maybe you, you're in an experience, a situation where you don't have that biological family close by or close. These examples can teach us that God's family isn't just confined to a last name, a shared address. It's made up of those who live out their faith and invite others to walk alongside them. So we'll talk a little bit, a bit more about this. So hang on.

We neglect spiritual family gatherings because we have too many other priorities

But whether you're in your own home or you have those spiritual connections through church or your community, God can use those relationships in your family to teach and encourage and multiply his kingdom across generations. This is a beautiful thing. Now why don't we do it? We neglect it. We have such overloaded schedules and we just let other good things crowd out great things. I'm talking sports and work and screens and travel and just the constant busyness of the rat race that is there. We also just don't intentionally prioritize those things. We, we just kind of, by apathy, let other things take over because we're not intentional in deciding what's a priority. It's a priority for us to meet together with that spiritual family we have, whether that's biological or not. We value individual success, or we just let digital connection take over. We have fear of awkwardness, we have family tension, or just that spiritual neglect. We just really don't recognize the role that family gatherings have helping our families develop their faith. I mean, we often we say we value family, but does your calendar reflect it? And if not, what needs to change? Now, there are some practical tips for prioritizing family time together. You can create some sustainable habits of gathering together. If you have a young family. A monthly cousin night would be so fun. Whether it's cousins that are coming over in, person to your house, whether it's gathering on something like FaceTime or whether, whether it's cousins, but it's really spiritual cousins. Other kids whose families are committed to walking alongside. You know, it was just Mother's Day recently, and we as a church affirmed, we will walk alongside you. We will live out these values in front of your children. Have those families come over. If you're an empty nester, maybe having a regular family prayer call or a Bible story night for grandkids, how fun would that be? Every Sunday night you get on FaceTime, or you go over and you have Bible story night, or just spending time together for single adults, you know, having time to plan quarterly visits, join family vacations, or cultivating that family wherever you are. And if you have a blended family, you can have rhythms like game nights or devotionals or shared service projects. Those are helpful, but you gotta put it on the calendar and protect it like any other commitment. This is why life groups are so prevalent. You gotta use techniques, technology to bridge that distance. And maybe that's a zoom meal where you're eating together by video conference, or you're sharing devotionals by group text. Maybe rotate hosting duties or themes to reduce the pressure. You don't have to have a perfect home. It's just about inviting people into your life and incorporating those faith traditions while you're there. Saying a blessing over the meal, telling, stories or sharing prayer time is so important. Now for some of you, you're thinking, yeah, that sounds nice, but I'm estranged. I'm separated. We're separated by distance. Maybe your heart aches because your family is scattered all across the country or even around the world and you miss those shared meals. You're saying, yeah, I want those spontaneous visits, the ease of just being together. Or maybe it's not geography that's separating you from a spiritual family. It's something heavier. It's old wounds, it's strange relationship, or it's silence where you once had a connection. Or maybe for you, every time you hear the word family, your heart just kind of sinks a little. Not because you don't value it, but because it's just complicated or painful. If you are feeling that kind of absence, it's okay to talk about that. It's okay to be human and to feel that and to find courage to build community. Any way, know this. God sees that longing you have for family and he has not left you alone. And so I challenge you to look around and ask who are the safe and faithful and, and, constant people that God has placed in my life? How can I lean into the concept of spiritual family? Through the church, through friendships, through intentional connection, to experience that belonging my heart longs for? You need to acknowledge that deep strain of deep pain, of strained family dynamics or loss, and just intentionally build a spiritual family. That can happen. You can adopt spiritual grandparents or aunts or uncles, or open your home or tables to others who are also far away from their family. And that can be helpful. But it is wherever that is, Whether that's a spiritual family, your biological family that has a, faith heritage, you need other people and other generations walking alongside your family, living out their faith, having those shared faith traditions in front of your family, that's so really powerful because kids need to see that faith lived out beyond their parents. They need to see it through older generations and through peers and through family friends. It's so important to let others speak into your family and walk alongside you. You will have shared wisdom from families who are further along the road, who have walked that road before you. You don't have to do that alone. God designed us for community. So some practical can do is attending church events as a family together or inviting other families over for casual dinner with prayer. Ask an older couple to mentor you and let your kids witness people who experience hardship, who go through tough things, and they remain fam faithful. Family isn't always easy, but it is essential, whether that's blood or spiritual bond. God designed us to grow in community, not isolation. So as Hebrews reminded us, let's not give up meeting together. Let's press in, let's prioritize, let's be present. Because these moments that are around our dining room table and this on the sofa, in our living room, or even over the phone that are on backyard sprinklers, these are really sacred spaces where love is nurtured, faith faith is modeled, and family faith legacies are built. So this week, I challenge you. Hey, reach out, call your cousin, invite the grandparents, text that family friend from church, Start some sort of rhythm, whether big or small, and say, family matters here. And if you don't know where to begin, just start with prayer. Ask God to show you the people that he has placed in your life to gather with, with, to grow with, and to go forward with together. Well, I hope that's helpful to you. And as we are in this season of graduation, there are a lot of families who will get together for better or for worse, right? It can be filled with excitement, pride, and anticipation. But it is a season of transition and challenges and a mixture of emotions for everyone in the family. So whether you're a parent launching a graduate, a sibling adjusted to a change, or someone supporting a loved one through this milestone, when we come back, I'm going to dive into how we can encourage, guide and celebrate graduates at all stages of their journey. And I also have a really important warning for you about a new TikTok challenge. Don't go away. I'll be right back.

PreBorn is the greatest threat to the abortion industry

Because of the generous donations provided from listeners like you, PreBorn has rescued over 330,000 babies. But every day the abortion industry is taking thousands of babies lives. We have to save them. Please donate your best gift to save more babies at preborn.com/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR. as we celebrate the many pro Life victories going forth, we rejoice PreBorn's network of clinics have a unique opportunity to advance even further without political persecution. What does this look like? PreBorn is the greatest threat to the abortion industry. By rescuing on average 200 babies lives a day, they are putting a serious dent into abortion. But there are still thousands of babies who die daily and PreBorn's goal is to rescue them all. With the help of the pro Life community, meaning you, we can save so many more. Please join us in saving all of these precious lives. The ultrasound is the game changer. Once a mother hears that precious heartbeat, she is twice as likely to choose life. If you consider yourself pro life, we need your help. One ultrasound is just$28. Five ultrasounds are $140. $5000 Sponsors ultrasounds for the entire PreBorn network for an entire day. How many lives can you save? Every child is a beautiful gift from God. Please join the cause to donate Securely, please dial pound 250 and say the keyword baby that's pound250baby or visit preborn.com/AFR, that's preborn.com/AFR. PreBorn is there for hurting mothers and at risk babies standing strong in the darkest corners of our nation. By sponsoring an ultrasound, you can be there too. One ultrasound is just $28 and doubles a baby's chance at life. Please donate your best gift to save more babies at preborn.com/AFR,  that's preborn.com/AFR. Thank You Jesus For The Blood by Charity Gayle  thank you Jesus for the blood. Thank you Jesus it has washed me white. Thank you Jesus, you have saved my life Brought me from the darkness into glorious light. Welcome back friends. That is thank you Jesus for the blood by charity Gayle one of my favorites. And I am thankful not only for the gift of Jesus, but for the gift of you joining us here today. We are all in this together, trying to raise families who are healthy, who love God, who serve others. And today we're talking on this fry. Yay. This Ask doctor Nurse Mama Friday about this week's healthy habit, which is prioritizing time with your extended family. And I'll be talking in just a minute about doing that through graduation season, which is upon us.

The Chromebook Challenge is challenging kids to short circuit their computer

But first, let me give you a really important warning about a new TikTok trend. I wish so much I did not have to talk about these social media trends that are just that seem here to stay. It's always a new threat, a new kind of risk taking behavior, but the principles behind it remain the same. But this is something I'm seeing and definitely rapidly escalate. It's something called the Chromebook Challenge. Now, in case you're not aware, Chromebook is basically like a laptop, a little portable computer. They're commonly used in schools. And this Chromebook Challenge is challenging kids to short circuit their device by jamming a metal object into the USB port, into the holes that are inside of the computer. Now these, this isn't just, just a joke. We've seen news reports over the weekend, over the last week of this starting a fire. And that's kind of the intent is to start a fire. But we've also seen schools evacuated, kids unnecessarily, scared, and even criminal charges. Now, it's not just a prank. this is a criminal act and a serious safety threat. But fear tactics don't work. So we've got to talk about how do we handle that? All fear tactics do. Fear based strategies. They're very effective at generating fear, making kids feel afraid, but they don't actually change their behavior. This is because kids are just naturally curious. They are God given in their curiosity. And they also are not developmentally wired to be able to resist peer pressure very well. So when kids have a bad idea, often their brains lack the capacity to reason this through and to think what will happen. Why is this not very good? And sometimes their thumb, their fingers are just faster than the executive function, than the prefrontal cortex and their brain. And it's a failure not of moral values or virtues, it's a failure of decision making. They just think, I'll be famous. This person will like me. It will be funny. They just don't grasp the real consequences, legal, physical and relational consequences. And it just seems like it's harmless fun. In a viral format. So when you're talking about it, I encourage you to ask your kids about it. Start with curiosity, not condemnation. Don't lead with lecturing. Don't say, you better not do this. I heard about this today. Just ask, say, I heard about this. Have you seen anything about this? And just create a safe space to talk, not just a lecture. If they've heard something, ask them to tell you what they've heard and walk it through. If they haven't, just say, okay, well I heard this. You might hear this from other kids. And here's what has happening now. What would you do if someone asks you to do this and walk it through? I really encourage you to rol play with them saying what they're going to say. And don't feed them a script. They've got to say something. I ask my kids always. I say, okay, what would you say that feels comfortable for your personality and your situation? And then they'll practice it out and I'll give it a thumbs up or a thumbs down and say, yep, that sounds like a good plan. Or m, let's think about this and refine this a little more. They will roll their eyes. They will say, mom, this is so dumb, I don't want to do this. But make them do it anyway. That's so important. And just explain to them how those digital challenges can be manipulated by other people. Other people and encourage them to be leaders. Something I say to my son every day before he walks out the door is, I pray that you walk with confidence as a man of integrity. And I just have that blessing over them, knowing that you can give them verses from Proverbs 13. Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. And I tell them there, there is lots of foolishness in children in childhood. And so here's how to walk with the wise. You can talk with them about wisdom and discernment in that decision making and tell them, we are Christ followers, we need to model integrity. And as having integrity, we will take care of the property that is given to us, whether it is issued by the school or whether it's given to them by your parents. So set up some accountability and talk about how do we take of our devices, what are the things that are there that are important? And when we talk about the why of that, that's so important. So to encourage them to report any behavior that's happening, tell them if they hear of this happening, tell them they have an obligation to report that to their teacher to a Trusted adult. They need to tell them that's happening, that's happening. They need to discourage it and say, you shouldn't do that because fill in the blank and walk away. Just know the glory of walking away from some of those peer pressured situations. That's really important. And praise their character, praise their moral courage. when they have those decisions where they don't engage, just say, that was amazing. You showed such character. You showed courage, you showed integrity. That is wonderful. And talk about the value of protecting other people, not just themselves. Someone else could get hurt. That is important. And so just remind them, remind them that they live in a world where nothing has changed, nothing is new under the sun. Kids have always made foolish decisions. Kids will continue to make foolish decisions. And we are called to be wise. We are called to be different. And parents, your voice matters most. More than any influencer, more than any TikTok trend. So stay engaged, stay curious and stay connected. It's, it's that is so important.

As our lives become more tech driven, summer can be the perfect time

And as we approach these summer months, as we approach the end of school, we're going to see more social media trends because kids have more time on their hands. We're going to see more threats from technology. And as we're thinking about the summer months, I know for me as a mom with kids in school, I'm thinking about vacation, I'm thinking about camp, I'm thinking about no school lunches, no homework, all of the fun we're going to have. But it's so important for us also to be intentional, to look at summer as a season for deepening those family connections, for strengthening spiritual growth and building memories that will last a lifetime. A lifetime. Because summer gives us such a precious moment. It really does. To reset our priorities, to invest in what really matters. It's time when we can pull back from the demands of the school year and focus on what nurtures the soul of our families, our relationships, our faith, and the memories that we create together. So we often talk about making memories, but let's be intentional about making memories that matter. And some of that has to do with technology. So instead of filling the summer with material pursuits, with jam packed schedules, let's embrace a summer rhythm that prioritizes family time, that looks at spiritual disciplines, that looks at those intentional connections. Putting down our tech, slowing down, looking our families in the eye. It doesn't require a packed calendar, it doesn't require a huge budget. It just requires intentionality to be present. Those distractions are so pesky because as our lives become more tech driven, summer can be the perfect time to just take back, take a step back and reassess what we're doing with technology. So I'll be talking about this in the summer when we go through healthy habits. We've got a ton of tech habits. And let me warn you in advance, it is convicting now. It doesn't mean eliminating it entirely. It means setting boundaries. It means finding a healthy balance. And not every family looks the same, not every family has the same situations. And so we'll be talking about, about navigating some of those difficult tech applications in family dynamics or church communities or peer groups or those kinds of things. So stay tuned for that because I have a lot to say about that.

Celebrating graduation helps affirm hard work and perseverance

But let's go back to talking about the family connections that you can make in the right here and right now. And for many of us, that is graduation. And you likely either are attending a graduation, you've got an announcement from a graduate, someone in your church community, you've seen senior Sunday, you see in your community, people are graduating. And graduation is such a momentous occasion. Whether it's high school, college, even preschool, pre K, 8th grade graduation, those are all markers of growth and perseverance. And celebrating it helps affirm hard work, which is important in today's society. And resilience. They've gotten them to this point, but, but let's encourage them and what lies ahead. So I'm going to be sharing some ideas for some great creative gifts. So don't go away because I'll be talking about that. But let's talk about supporting parents and launching their kids.

Keeping faith central in the midst of all that change is important

So if you are there and you are a parent of a high school or a college graduate, let me tell you, it is tough. I've done it two and a half times. I'm about to do it again. Launching a child is emotional. It's challenging, a roller coaster of all kinds of feelings. But let's keep faith, central in the midst of all that change. So here's some advice that I have for you that has worked for me. I think one of the most important things is just to maintain open lines of communication. And so as we're peppering our kids with what's going to be your major, what's your plan, what's your dorm, what do you need on your shopping list, what job are you going to have, how are you going to pay your bills, where are you going, what are the rules going to look like? All of those logistics. Let's raise our eyes to their faith, journey to their character. So ask how are you feeling about your faith right now? What are the values that you want to carry with you in this next chapter? One of the things that my son is doing is compiling a list of at the behest of their Bible teacher, they're compiling a list of advice from at least 40 people. It is been so good to see the wide range of things that people have to say and it's generated some great conversations about that and looking at that. So the other things that are hard to navigate are encouraging independence but still staying connected to them. Give them some space to make their own decisions. But make sure they know I'm here for you. I always available to listen. I will always, always pray for you. You can text me, you can call me, you can ask, ask me anytime. I will drop anything and everything anytime that you need prayer. So staying connected spiritually and emotionally, that is more important than any logistic of transporting their stuff to wherever it is that they need to go or planning any of the technical details that need to happen. So maybe now's a good time to schedule a weekly or a monthly check in just to talk about life, talk about the challenges they're facing, talk about their character development, talk about their faith. Those can help keep your relationship strong. Encourage them no matter where they're going, no matter what they're doing in their life, transition that one of the first things they need to do that priority is to find a church, find a Christian community wherever they go. That could be a school, that could be in the workplace, that could be in a new town for those that are staying local, making sure they make that transition, and to find a Bible study, to find a Christian group to get involved in service opportunities, that's really important. And we have to be sensitive to their path because no matter where they're going, whether they're going to way to school, they're attending school locally, they're entering the workforce. Each child is going to experience different challenges and needs. So we gotta be flexible in our approach and offer specific support. Sometimes it can be hard because an older sibling goes off and we kind of expect, okay, we've that done that, let's press play. But this kid is built differently. This kid has different emotions, this kid has different stressors, different aspirations. We gotta make sure that we are being individual and meeting our kids where they are and responding to them emotionally and spiritually. And you know, when we look at a kid going to school, they may need guidance on how do you balance your spiritual life and your academic life life while a child Entering the workforce needs advice on how do you maintain work, maintain your values that you have in your faith environment. So just meet them where they are.

When an older sibling graduates, it can stir up a range of emotions

And speaking of siblings, it's so important for us to support their, the younger siblings. I want to talk about that for just a minute because sometimes those younger siblings are often overlooked. And when their older brother or sister goes off, whether it's for college or work or another path, it can stir up a range of emotions. But we're not thinking about those as parents or grandparents. Sometimes we just kind of forget about the little kids. And so they may feel left behind, they may feel lonely, they may feel left out. They even may feel resentful, especially if they're still in school. They're facing their own challenges. Everything is overshadowed by the graduation. So it's a really important time for parents, parents and caregivers to offer that emotional support and reassurance and opportunities. Don't forget about the little kids. So maybe that's something small you can do, is to bring a little something for this younger sibling of someone who's graduating a way for them to connect. That would be really important. One of the first things that you should do is just recognize that shift, acknowledge their feelings. Especially those siblings who have had a close relationship with a graduate. Know it's okay to feel sad about them leaving. It's okay to feel jealous about the attention they're getting. It's okay, okay to feel confused about what is life going to look like. Why do we have an empty chair and mom's now crying at the dinner table because the older kid is gone. It's okay to feel that mix of emotions during that transition. So just create some grace and space for everyone to talk about their feelings. Maybe that's a one on one conversation. Maybe that's a family meeting. Maybe that's journaling. Know that it's okay to have emotions even if they don't make any sense. Like, I'm happy for you, but I'm also sad for me. And say that this transition may feel like it's a big change, but it doesn't mean that the kid who's going off is no longer part of the family. Is just a new phase and the best is yet to come. Now the best is yet to come on the show because I've got some really creative ideas for you. If you're thinking, what do I get a, graduate, I will tell you when we come back. Don't go away. We'll be right back with more Ask, doctor, Nurse, Mama, Friday how do I handle graduation? I'll tell you. On the other side of this break, Dr. Carl Trueman from the American Family Studios documentary the God who Speaks. Typically, what sola scriptura, what scripture alone means for the reformers is this. We accept the church tradition. as an authoritative statement of Christian faith and practice as long as it lines up with scripture. That's not the equivalent of the it's just me and my Bible attitude that we often find in evangelicalism today. It's we belong to a historic tradition, but we always need to check what the church is teaching in light of Scripture. So so scripture alone doesn't mean the only book I read is the Bible. Scripture alone means that the Bible is the ultimate principle by which everything the church ever says or does is to be checked. Visit thegodwhospeaks.org Make Room by The Church Will Sing featuring Elyssa Smith To do whatever you want to to do whatever you want to I will make room for you to do whatever you want to to do whatever you want to Dr. Jessica Peck welcome back, friends. that is Make Room by the Church Will Sing featuring Elyssa Smith. And I know many of you are making room in your schedule for graduation. It is Ask Doctor Nurse Mama Friday, and I'm answering questions that parents have asked me about how do we survive the graduation season? So whether you have a graduate at home, you're attending a graduation, you know, a graduate, there is something that all of us can do to help some support these young people who are going to make their way in the world. It's really exciting. Whether they're graduating from high school, from college, graduating into the workplace, we can help them feel seen and supported and most of all, support their faith journey as they take this step into adulthood. Before the break, I was talking about siblings, younger siblings of graduates. And often they are unseen and they feel forgotten about. And so some of the things that you can do to help young siblings is first of all to give them the message that, hey, you are enough to give me meaning in life. The world is not going to fall apart and I'm not going to be depressed and anxious about your older sibling leaving. And you're not enough to make that better. A lot of times that's not the message that we intend to send, but that is the message that children interpret. So they need to know that this can be a difficult season. It's challenging. There are all kinds of emotions that happen that they are enough to give our life meaning and joy. So maybe if you are seeing, somebody who has a graduate who has younger siblings try to create that opportunity for One on one time and something that caters to their interest and just gives them a little time just to say, hey, I still see you. I know this is busy, this season will pass, but I still see you. It's also really helpful if you involve them in, in any graduation celebration. Give them a role. Give them something they can do to serve from their giftedness. Maybe that's helping to put together a slideshow. Maybe it's telling a story, maybe it's hosting, maybe it's making a special dish. Have them have a contribution. Ask them how they see themselves contributing to the celebration. That can be really helpful. And when you have those feelings of jealousy or rivalry, it's natural and normal for that to happen. They just may fear that the graduate is the favorite or that they aren't there. So just again, tell them this is a change for our family. It's going to look different, but it will be okay. It will be all right. And help. Just do what you can to strengthen the sibling relationship long term. Encourage communication. So how do you see yourself communicating with your sibling? Maybe who's going away? That might be through text messages, through calling, through social media, through letter writing. Have your graduate really think about that and make a plan with the younger sibling. This is how we'll communicate when I'm gone. Because sometimes it can be frustrating. Like, are they going to send me 14,000 text messages on my first day? Are they never going to hear from me? Setting those expectations is really helpful. So just think about that in supporting them in that transition. And, you know, just know that siblings play a crucial role in that graduation journey, both for the graduate in themselves. And so by acknowledging their feelings while still celebrating their individuality, involving them in that season of transition, and nurturing their spiritual growth, parents can really help little brothers and sisters thrive during that time. Just be intentional to support them emotionally, support them socially, support them spiritually. Make sure they are connected in that changing family dynamic. Remind them them the best is yet to come, that you love what your family used to be and you love what it is becoming as well. That's important. And sometimes siblings can be a really good help when you're at family gatherings and inevitably when I'm talking to graduates, they will tell me they dread the awkward questions of where are you going to college? Because maybe they're not going to college. Or what is your major? Because. Because maybe they have no idea what their major is going to be. Or maybe they're graduating from college and it's, have you found anybody? Are you getting married? Are you having children anytime soon? These questions are so hard, but they really reflect accomplishments rather than character. So let me give you some examples of questions that you can ask if you go to a graduation celebration. try asking these questions and see what answers you get. You might be surprised at some of the conversation you can start. Ask them, how are you feeling about this next chapter? What's most exciting to you? How, about what's one thing you're hoping to learn or experience this year? Who are the people you'll turn to when you need guidance or support? Who is your support system? How can we pray for you during this season of transition? What's the legacy you want to leave with the people you meet? Or how are you planning to keep your faith at the center of your life moving forward? And how. What advice can I give you from what I've experienced in that, that that would be really helpful.

Every college kid, every kid entering the workforce needs someone they know

Now, looking at that question, who are the people you'll turn to when you need guidance or support? Here's some advice on that. I believe every graduate, every person, really. But let's focus on the graduate. They are going to need five people in this life transition in this season of change, whether they're going to college, going to the workforce. I think they need an intercessor. And it's important to me to have these people like, like you know who they are and then you can point your children to them. Who's your intercessor? Who can you ask to pray for you kids, even if you label them as this in your phone? Every college kid, every kid, entering the workforce, every graduate needs someone they know. They can text at the drop of a hat and just say, would you pray for me? And to know that they will, they need someone who will pray for them that they can just send prayer requests to. Who is your intercessor? Who is your counselor? Now that means who is going to give you wise advice? Who is not going to tell you what you want to hear, but who is walking with the Lord? Who has a mature faith? Who is going to give you wise counsel? Who are you going to go to when you have difficulty and problems? And yes, of course, parents first and foremost. But I would encourage you to build this community of faith around your graduate. An intercessor, someone who will pray for them, a counselor, someone who will give them wife wise advice, a healthcare provider. That's really important because they may be moving or going somewhere else and they have no idea what to do if they get a cough or a sore throat or they have Some other health issue. How do they find a healthcare provider, One who shares their worldview, one they can trust? That is really important. Make sure they have a healthcare provider where they're going that they can go to with any health needs they have, have. They also need someone who's a friend, like a ride or die kind of friend. Someone who is going to be there no matter what. Somebody who's not going to ask questions, who's just going to show up and be there and love them no matter what. Somebody that I feel like I don't have to get dressed up for, I don't have to pretend to be anybody else, you know, the real me. Who is their ride or die? And that, fifth person is someone in the same boat. Is it someone who's going off to college with them, who's leaving family for the first time? Is it someone who, who's also working to enter the workforce? Is it someone who's going to college, navigating family dynamics of divorce? Or someone who's going to college or the workforce with a chronic health issue? What is it that's specific to your child? And is there someone in the same boat? So those five people, they need an intercessor, a counselor, a healthcare provider, a ride or die friend, and someone in the same boat. This can be essential and a great point of conversation.

Here are some creative and meaningful gift ideas that go beyond traditional graduation presents

Now some of those points of conversation at ah, graduation parties are around bad gift giving. Because we all want to give a good gift, but we think, what do we give? And of course they all say money. Every graduate needs money. But some of us think, well, okay, maybe I'll give you money, but I'd like to give you something special too. Here are some creative and meaningful gift ideas that go beyond traditional graduation presents. Maybe it will stir your mind. Maybe because gifts really should be about the heart and the growth journey. And so how can you encourage them in a holistic way, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? So here's some ideas that I will give you. First is a character photo album. Now I love this idea. It's a photo album where instead of just showcasing memories and talking about milestones, like here's when you won this award. Usually when we think about a timeline of their life, we think about a timeline of specific events, of achievements, mostly that they've done accomplishments. Think about showcasing character. Whether this is through a photo album or through a timeline that you do to celebrate, hey, here's a milestone moment in your life. Here's a picture from this game. Maybe you didn't win it, but you Showed such determination. You did not give up. Remind them of those character qualities that God has been nurturing, in them since the beginning of their journey. So that would be something really meaningful to remind them of those characters they have. Maybe it's idea number two, A personalized devotional journal. That's a journal that's maybe tailored specifically to your graduate. Maybe you can write some meaningful prompts in there. Maybe you can write in the front of it, some, some encouragement for their faith journey. You could even create one if you wanted to. That is becoming easier and easier to do. Idea number three. An adventure or an experience gift. So instead of money, instead of a material object, offer an experience with you. Especially grandparents or extended family. Maybe that's a weekend getaway. Maybe it's a cooking class, maybe it's an outdoor adventure. Offer them an experience with you. Idea number four. A customized Bible. Now, every graduate needs to go with a Bible and sometimes they have multiple ones, but this could be a personalized Bible with their name. My daughter actually did this for her grandfather for a gift. And it was so beautiful and meaningful. She went around to all of his friends and asked what is one verse that you would have for him? And she went through and highlighted those verses in the Bible and said who they were from and what that prayer was and gave a message in there. So how meaningful would it be for a college graduate to get an open a Bible and see scriptures already highlighted, knowing people of faith are already praying for them? I, I love that. Idea number five. A memory box or a time capsule. Maybe this is things that are filled with important moments of their life that they can open in the future. Maybe it's a letter from you. Maybe, maybe it's ah, something that they open at the, after they've been there a month, after they have gone away for a year. Just think about what is a memory box or a time capsule that you can open. Maybe they open at their high school graduation, maybe they open it at their college graduation or when they get a job in the workforce. But think about making a memory box or a time capsule.

Idea number six is a personalized prayer blanket. Either handwritten on a blanket or you can have blankets very easily made

All right, idea number six. A personalized prayer blanket. I've seen a few of these. These are so great. Either handwritten on a blanket or you can have blankets very easily made with photo products on there with prayers from people they know. And it's a tangible reminder. They are literally covered in prayer from their head to their toes. And to see prayers. And you never know when that kid may have a discouraging exam, may have a discouraging day at work and they come back and see that blanket on their bed and know that people are already praying, praying for them. I think that is, that's a really beautiful thing. Idea number seven, a Bible verse. Wall art or print of course, some piece of art or a print with an encouraging Bible verse, a meaningful quote, something that they can hang up. Maybe that's a bookmark, something with scripture on it. Because any words from God are going to be better than words that we can have ourselves. Idea number eight would be an engraved compass to show them a constant reminder that God will direct their steps. Maybe that's on a watch, maybe that's on a keychain. Something that just reminds them where their direction comes from. Idea number nine. This one was really fun I thought a faith based playlist. So give them a playlist, customize a playlist for them if you are tech savvy in that way and, and curate some songs that have been meaningful to you in your faith journey. Or maybe a playlist that goes along with the design devotional that you give them and you can have that. You never know when they might again be having a challenge. A bad day and they turn to that playlist. Maybe I'll try that and see what kind of music they listen to. What kind of music has been meaningful. Idea number 10 is a plant or a tree. Maybe this is something that symbolizes growth, new beginnings. Maybe you plant it in your own yard. Yard. This would not be me. I have what my mother in law affectionately calls a black thumb. I kill everything I touch. I actually got a succulent plant for mother's Day from for and it was so sweet. And I thought okay, I'm going to really try and take care of this. And by the time I got it in the house, the plant had literally disappeared. I carried in an empty plastic container. I have no idea. Somehow I dropped it along the way. I, I don't know what happened to it. But for those of you out there that can be really beautiful. Maybe you have a place where you can plant trees for every grandkid. That would be such a beautiful thing to do. Idea number 11 is a care package for the journey ahead. A thoughtful package with things like snacks and self care, hygiene items, books, tools they can use. Just a care package to say hey, I care about you. And put some care notes in that just say open. Open when you're angry, open when you're disappointed, open when you're sad, open when you're happy and you have something good happen and share some words for that and 12 to round out this dozen ideas is a blessing jar or a blessing box. Make a jar or a box that's just filled with positive affirmations, Bible verses and prayers that are specifically for them. So again, whether you're launching a graduate, supporting a sibling, cheering on a loved one, remember it's not the end of the journey. Graduations are about new beginnings and the best is yet to come. Trust that God is at work in their hearts and trust that he will be faithful through every transition and love who your child used to be. Have faith in who they are becoming. I pray that the best is yet to come for you and that the Lord will be bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you and I'll see you right back here on Monday. Jeff Chamblee The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.