Transcript

American Family Radio thanks sponsor Preborn for supporting pro life advocacy

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, PreBorn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection and the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for Healthy Families here on American Family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there friends and welcome to my favorite time of day getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for Healthy Families. Happy Friday everybody. We have made it to the first Friday in June and I cannot even believe that we are ah, in June. I don't know about you, but 2020 just feels like it is going so, so fast. I was working with my producer yesterday and scheduling shows out already for the fall. We're already talking about. Am I going to say it? Yeah, I am. We're already talking about Christmas. We are. I know we're not quite to the halfway point, but that's all. I will refrain, but one thing I am excited about that's going on this Summer is the Ten Commandments project. We've been talking about that in 2026. It is a children and youth discipleship project hosted by Pastor Joseph Parker who hosts the hour, of intercession, radio program here on American Family Radio. Love to hear that man pray. And he is challenging families this summer to memorize the Ten Commandments. You can get a free T shirt if you do that. There's also a speech project and a community outreach project. If you want more information about that then you can email Pastor Parker at [email protected] that's [email protected] and you can find out more about that. And I would encourage you to be intentional about discipling your kids so often. One of the most common questions I hear is how do I get my kids face out of a screen? And the answer is actually pretty simple. You've got to give them a compelling alternative. Sometimes that comes with a little incentive. Pastor Parker has not been shy at all about incentivizing. I did not say bribing, I said incentivizing. Paying kids for fair days work. And so there are all kinds of ways that you can do that. Also want to invite you to AFA at the Ark October 29th and 30th. You can learn learn more about that at afa.net/events that is at the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter in Kentucky. And there's pricing for adults and for children and all kinds of details about all of the events that will be there, who will be there, what you will be able to learn, but a great potential experience for your family. So want to invite you to those two things that we are promoting this week.

We're almost to the halfway point of Healthy Habits

Now it is Friday, and so I am going to talk about our healthy habit for today. If you've been joining along since January, if you can believe it, we're almost to the halfway point of Healthy Habits and I want to ask you, how's it going? How is your family doing? Have any of these habits made a difference? I believe it is in the daily obedience that we have to the Lord that God works. And this week we were so blessed to interview the Blackaby boys. That would be Henry Blackaby's son and grandsons, who have written an updated Experiencing God. And that is the whole premise of the book, that God is in the business of working through the ordinary, mundane interactions. And that's a lot of what we're doing through Healthy Habits. We started in January with four core spiritual disciplines. Then we moved through six rhythms that your family needs, eight communication techniques, and now we are going through, 12 weeks in the summer for talking about tech. We've already talked about it a little bit about reading with your family, about intentionally watching what streaming what you're watching, choosing what you're watching, curating the things that are coming into your home and being in pictures. We talked about just curating those as a tech habit. And today I am continuing in this and we'll talk about vacation, unplugging, on vacation, taking a vacation, and actually unplugging. This is a really important tech habit. And then next week we'll start talking specifics about tech free times, tech free zones. So let's just dive into it and talk about this really odd vacation paradox that we have right now. Because we live in the most connect, connected era in human history. We are more connected globally to our family. You know, it used to be. I remember when I was in the ninth grade, one of my classmates moved and we had a goodbye party for her. Like it was pretty much like a funeral. Because we knew that we didn't see face. We didn't have FaceTime. We didn't have Facebook or fake book as some of my guests have called it. We just had a few little pen Pal letters, and that was it. But now, when somebod moves, even going to college, we can be connected. But at the same time, the paradox is that more families have never felt less connected. They're more disconnected relationally than ever. Now, I want you to think a generation ago, since nostalgia is trending, let's jump on this trend, okay? When families left for a vacation, they truly left. Like when you were out for the day you were out, we put on this thing called an answering machine. And at first, we didn't even have a way to check that. You had to wait till you got home to check your answering machine. And you know what? Somehow during that, businesses still survived. People still kept their jobs, churches found substitutes for volunteers, Little league teams. I know this is very controversial. Gasp. They actually just played without you. I know, I know. And the team went on, and friends just simply waited to catch up until you got back. Now, today, we carry our offices, our social circles, our sports scores, our volunteer responsibilities, every news alert, we carry those with us. It goes right out the door with us whenever we go. And we may physically leave, but mentally, we never arrive. We stay mentally checked out. Now, you've seen it. The dad who is taking a conference call, car part at a theme park. Like, maybe you're waiting in line to get on the ride. And there's this dad kind of obviously having a work call and his family's just kind of waiting awkwardly nearby. Or mom is answering emails from the hotel pool, or the grandparent is refreshing market updates. Maybe, you know, while you're out with a family. Or the teenager is scrolling sports scores. Or maybe dad is too, or maybe mom while everyone else is talking around the dinner table. Now, I am not calling out anyone. If you feel persecuted, I apologize, because we all are guilty of this in some way or another. And the problem isn't technology itself. The problem is the constant connectivity stealing the very thing that vacation was intended to provide. Relational presence and connection. Checking out, resting, reconnecting with family members. And research actually increasingly shows that people experience the greatest health benefits from vacation when you're fully disengaged. Now, I know this is not rocket science like my husband does. This is just common sense. And yet somehow we all shrug and say, yeah, we know that. But cue the 4000 excuses why we can't disconnect physically or mentally. But studies also suggest that this constant connectivity really creates a work life conflict, and it reduces our ability to be fully present. It used to be when we come home from the day, you know, there was no remote Work. Now there's just these nebulous boundaries. It's really, are you working? Are you not? Are you flexible? Are you not? And, and so today we're gonna really challenge each other to unplug on vacation. Now before you start saying, hey, I'm not taking a vacation this summer or a vacation, it's not financially possible, hang in there because this is for everybody. Because if you, are thinking, okay, I, I, that's not in the cards for us. Listen, a vacation can be a two week grand adventure or it can be a day trip to your own town. The goal is not spending money, I'm talking about intentionally spending time together at home. And everybody is going at least one part of one day this summer to do that for sure. And the goal is creating margin and memory and meaningful connection. So really, again, thinking about why this matters. We have really changed so much from one generation to the other. And when our prior generations, when we took vacations, that really meant a vacation. No email, no smartphone, no group text, no expectation of an immediate response. People just learn to wait. And now we don't wait. Work is following us everywhere. Volunteer commitments are following us. Sports, apps, social media, news, all of those things. We have forgotten how to be unavailable. And we are teaching our children to be unavailable. Now this is really convicting to me because as our children are growing up, they're, they're massively distracted. Like when you go to visit and you're visiting your adult children, all of a sudden it's like, oh, they're just checking their phone. They don't have time for me. They're distracted. And guess what? We've taught them to do that because just because technology allows us to have that kind of access in our life doesn't mean that relationships can survive it. Now again, this is not rocket science, but nearly 40% of people and one research study I looked at reported using smartphones for work during vacation. So that's almost half of people said, yep, I get on my smartphone and I get on work. And guess what? Over 90% of them said it wasn't good, I didn't enjoy it, it wasn't, it did not contrib to my vacation. And research on constant workplace connectivity shows it does negatively impact our well being because we never fully detach. We are always on.

Having a smartphone in a conversation diminishes the benefits of face-to-face interactions

So we know it and yet we don't do it. So let's dive into that and let's look at this practically because it's so relatable. Like maybe you spend money on a beach vacation or maybe just Go to the beach for the day or a local park, but you know, you've got a parent checking their email every 20 minutes and you know, send volunteer responding to volunteer messages or text messages. The kids meanwhile, get bored while mom and dad are working, so they start getting on their gaming app. And everyone's technically physically together, but nobody is actually together. And when your family remembers a vacation five years from now, what do you want them to remember? The attractions or your attention? That is the most important thing and that is something that fits any vacation budget because kids notice who is looking at them, who's engaged, who's listening, who seems distracted, who always has an eye on a screen. Kids have an incredible radar for this. And we know that even the presence of a smartphone in a conversation, even having it by our side when we're talking to our spouse, to our, to our kids, it diminishes the benefits of those face to face interactions because our attention's divided. And the number one emotion that people feel when you have a phone is annoyance and disrespect. That is what we feel. We're annoyed and we feel disrespected because you think the phone is more important. But when parents unplug, that is your opportunity for conversations to deepen. Often you have less conflict because you're paying attention and you notice things earlier and it doesn't just come to a head. And that's not the only time that you're addressing it. Children are more likely to open up because they feel seen and heard and known and loved. And that shared experience becomes a memory because children are not going to remember, remember how productive you were on their vacation. They are not going to sit back and look 10 years from now and say, oh, wow, you really did a great job balancing work and you worked a lot and got a lot done even though you were still here on vacation. They're going to remember. You sat and watched a movie with me, you walked on the beach with me. You, you know, sat and played a game with me. And when we see that families really aren't vacationing together anymore, they're just kind of having a parallel traveling experience. They're all going to the same place, but nobody is, is mentally in the same world. They are creating a different world, a different story, a different set of relationships, a, ah, totally different experience because every screen is creating its own reality. And so you maybe have one kid who's really immersed in a game and is talking with all of the people who is on that game or another is in social media. Drama and commenting back and forth. Or a parent who's immersed in work emails. Another one is following sports games or playoffs. And the family is sitting side by. But their experience of the vacation, their memories are totally different. Now, connection doesn't happen accidentally. Those family memories are built from shared experiences and most of all, shared laughter. Even when there's chaos, even when things don't go well. Those shared challenges, shared stories, not just simply, yeah, we were in the same car, in the same hotel room. That's not the thing. The greatest competition for family connection isn't so much bad content that's competing with your family. It's just hyper individualized content. So when every family member is consuming a personalized feed, there's just fewer common reference points to create that shared memory. To say, hey, remember when grandma, burned the apple pie? Oh, yeah. Nope, that's just me. Okay, still a sore subject. But we die laughing every time we think about it. And vacations increase and strengthen your family's shared stories because there is something really powerful about saying, hey, remember when we went here, we did this, that, shared experience that they participated in together.

How do we get our kids off their phones? Well, it's pretty easy

Now, again, one of the most common questions I hear is, well, how do we get our kids off their phones? Well, actually, it's pretty easy. Don't make the screen the enemy. Because so often we lead with lecturing. I'm guilty of this too. Get off your phone. Get off your phone. Get off your phone. You simply got to give them a compelling alternative. You have got to. Kids can see a lecture coming from a mile away. So instead of focusing on what you're taking away, focus on what you're inviting them into. It's not the goal isn't less screen time. It's more life off screen. That's what we want them to have. Not just be bored. Give them something better, not just something different. Kids are rarely going to choose boredom over inner entertainment, but they will often choose adventure over entertainment. When we come back, I'm going to give you some practical tips for how you can really shake up your family dynamic. If you feel like you're in a rut, if you feel like you're in a season of conflict, if you feel like your kids are disengaged, one of the best things that you can do is something unexpected. Shake things up a little bit. I'll tell you a little bit about how to do that, how to make your kids participants in your family vacation, not just passengers. We'll talk about creating moments that are worth missing screen time for. And I'll give you some home front headlines. I'll see you on the other side of this break.

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Rescue by Jordan St. Cyr: oh, I've been desperate cried those loud prayers like Job on his knees saying lord, I need more than a little help. I've been surrounded, felt fear on all sides like Daniel and the lions. I know when I fight, I don't fight by myself. when I needed rescue Jesus, you came through. Oh in my heart is season your promise held true and every time I've given in Lord, you've proven again that you're still my savior now Jesus, you came through when I needed rescue.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back friends. That is Rescue by Jordan St. Cyr. I hope you're having a great Friday and wherever you are, I pray that God is meeting you where you are. I know there are so many of you facing so many different things as we are headed into the heart of 2026, really the midway point. I pray that God would meet you where you are and I thank you so much for joining in today. As we're talking about this week's family habit. And that habit is unplugging on vacation. Now, used to be a little harder. Used to be just mom and dad that we were talking to, but now it's hard to help kids unplug on vacation because so many kids are accustomed to something called digital soothing. Now this is soothing yourself with a digital environment, with a screen. Any uncomfortable emotion you have, it is soothed with a screen. Are you bored? Here, watch the screen. Are you anxious? Here, watch the screen. Are you angry here? Please calm down. Watch the screen. And we have got to stop that. We have got to push back against that. And we've got to name and claim emotions and model responding to those in a healthy way. And I talked about that in one of our last communication habits about naming and claiming emotions. So encourage you to go back and listen to that.

A great way to get kids engaged on a trip is to let them help plan

But as far as helping kids get engaged on a trip, sometimes, especially if you've got preteens or teenagers or maybe even adult children, maybe they're a little, a little less than enthusiastic about going on a trip together, going on a vacation together, they think, you know, really like, I'm not that excited. And that can be really hurtful because you think, oh, I've put time and expense into this and the fact that you don't want to be with me. Listen, a great way to get kids engaged, no matter what age, is to let them help plan it. So let them help navigate. Like it, rotate them out if they're big enough and old enough to sit in the front or if they can, you know, sit safely and have navigation. Teach them how to navigate. Teach them a life skill. Kids love to be engaged like that. Give them a family photo challenge. Create a scavenger, Hunt. Let them choose the restaurants along the way. These are also great life planning skills where they're planning out timings of things or where you're going to have a, a, travel exchange or whatever it is. Maybe just something simple as teaching them a card game that used to play when you were growing up. Or let them choose if you have the, the means to have a certain experience. Let them choose bikes or kayaks or whatever it might be, or explore some new together. This park or that park, this lake or that lake. You can do it to fit any budget. And the best way to compete with a screen is genuine engagement. We want to make our kids participants in the vacation, not just passengers. And many kids really retreat into their screens because they just feel like I'm just a passive observer. If you give them ownership, then they will be more engaged. So asking questions like, hey, what's one thing that you want our family to do today? Or here's the options for today. What's your priority? Where's one place we should stop? What's something that we haven't tried before? And that can really help because most of the time our, go to is just to restrict devices. Everybody get off your phone. No phones for this time. But you don't give a, more compelling alternative. And so that is really what we've got to fill in there. And sometimes it may be slow going at first. It may feel a little rusty to have a great conversation or a spontaneous adventure or a funny family competition, or just something as simple as enjoying a sunset or a campfire. But the memories that endure from those kinds of experience are never, ever going to match what's going to happen on a screen. They're never going to be less than what's happened on a screen. They are always going to be more than that. And so maybe when you're planning a trip, think five years from now, ask your family, what do we hope everyone remembers about this trip? And that question will tend to recalibrate the conversation really, really quickly. Screens aren't winning because they're better than family time. They're winning because they're easier than putting forth the effort to create a shared experience.

FOMO is the fear of missing out on others' experiences

Now, another competition for families who are trying to do family time together, whether that's a staycation, vacation, day trip, whatever it is, is fomo, something called fomo. Now this is a, acronym FOMO for Fear of Missing out. There's actually a scientific scale that we can use in research to measure f fomo. It's a real phenomenon and it's basically the anxiety that someone else is having more fun and seeing something better, being included when somewhere we're not now used to when we go on vacation, we have no idea what our friends or neighbors were doing until we got back. And that was blessed. They say ignorance is bliss. And in this case I believe that is very true. But now kids are following social media and they're seeing, oh, well, I'm on this family trip, but I'm missing the birthday party of the year, and oh, these friends are having a sleepover every single night. And I didn't get to go on that. And, and, you know, these, these friends seem like they're getting closer and what if they forget about me when I get back? And it seems so silly, but it really is a reality for today's kids. And it's not occasional. It is constant. And their phones are providing a real time highlight reel of everyone else's lives. I mean, they're at the beach, but they're wondering, what are my friends doing back home there? You might be at a theme park, but you're checking social media instead of like talking to people in the line that you're waiting for. And you're comparing, oh, this is my family's experience. This is what's happening. But look at this curated online experience. Look at the highlights of someone else's more glamorous vacation. And they could become so focused on what they're missing somewhere else that they miss what's going on right in front of them. And FOMO is stealing joy from families today because you're worrying about somebody else's today instead of living in your own today. But it's hard for kids. We've got to have a measure of empathy because children's brains are still developing self control and perspective. And something that can seem so obvious to us can feel very real to them. And they're naturally wired to place a high value on, peer acceptance and belonging. And social media is creating the illusion that everyone else's life is so much better, so much more fun, even when that's far from the reality. So how do we fight fomo? Well, we've got to teach Jomo, is what I'm going to say. But I know my kids are going to cringe when I say that. But there can be joy in missing out. There's a joy in that because we need to be very clear with our kids. Not every event deserves your attention. You are going to be fine if you do not go to that event. Not every notification requires your response. Not every experience needs to be documented on social media. Sometimes there can be joy in checking out. And I will tell you over and over and over again, when I talk to kids who do check out of their social media, they enjoy the experience so much better. And sometimes there can be a freedom in an adult setting that tone, setting that even for maybe you're having a multi generational family experience and you just set that expectation for all the cousins. Hey, this is going to be checkout time. We're checking, checking out of our tech time. And then there's kind of a release, in that, you know, like, okay, well, you know, my parents say they said I can't and they kind of have an excuse for that. But I see increasingly college students who are choosing this intentionally saying, I want to be present where I am so I'm not going to document this on social media. I'm going to delete the social media app. That's a beautiful thing. Instead of thinking, okay, what am I missing there? Really? We need to train ourselves to ask, what am I missing right here that's going on in front of me? Help kids notice conversations that are going on around you. The scenery, the laughter, the adventure, the people that they're with. And FOMO really loses its power when kids are actively engaged, not entertained engage. They're playing games together as a family. I'm telling you, there's one thing that my family loves is watching their grandma play charades. It is the funniest thing ever. If you want to engage kids like that is something novel, that's something different, you can ask them, what would you ask me to do? What would you ask me to play with you? Where would you ask me to go with you if you knew I wouldn't say no. And then sometimes shaking it up and just saying, yeah, I'll play that video game with you. Yeah, I'll try that food that, you know, that I think I hate. Let them have some say in that. Create family traditions. Create all the inside jokes that you can laugh about for years to come. It is just hard to worry about somewhere else when you're making memories here, because FOMO says, hey, what I need is somewhere else. But commitment says, hey, God has given me a gift right here today. And we can reinforce, that with scripture, like, this is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it, even if it's raining and we plan something outside, even if, you know, something is not going well. The biblical antidote to FOMO is gratitude. Just learning to receive today's gifts instead of chasing whatever tomorrow might have a vague possibility of. And that is what we need to do, is to be present and listen. Not every family is going to get to go have international travel or an expensive resort or a luxury experience that is completely, completely fine. Some of the richest family memories happen just fishing in a local pond or playing cards at home, or exploring a state park, making pancakes on a Saturday morning, or just spending an afternoon where you're not working and not rushing. God works through those ordinary moments. So I encourage you to cultivate those moments, whether it's a vacation, a staycation, or just an afternoon or a Saturday morning. Whether it's around your dinner table, during your walk, while you're traveling, your family. Staycation may be exactly the gift that God intended in this season, because a Value and vacation isn't measured by the miles traveled, the money spent, it's by the attention that is gifted to your family. So there's lots of low cost or no cost ideas that you could have. You could just have a backyard camp out. I know I used to hate this when my husband would say it because I'm not really asleep outside kind of galaxy. But hey, I would take one for the team and make it till at least 10, you know, before I sneak inside to go get in my bed. But kids love something as novel as just camping in your backyard. Be a tourist in your own town for a day. Have a family Olympics. You know, doing that, having. What was that? The, the, like the extreme Olympics. I know there used to be a show on tv. I'm not thinking of the name of it, but my kids would make that up and they would have that with all the obstacle courses and everything. Maybe it's just water balloons. May. Maybe it's a board game marathon, a movie day.

Decide on your vacation expectations before you leave. What are the expectations for tech engagement?

Maybe you're going to try something adventurous for cooking. Maybe you'll explore nature. Maybe you'll serve together as a family like I talk about on Tuesday. Maybe you'll watch old home movies. Kids love to see movies and pictures of themselves. So maybe you curate that. Maybe it's a family talent show, a bike adventure. I mean, there's so many things that you could do. You could have a family bucket list day where you put some boundaries on what you can do. I mean, all kinds of things. Or maybe, maybe from sunrise to sunset. I am totally checked out of any tech and I am just yours. Kids are not going to judge vacations by the price tag. They are going to judge them in value by the attention, the laughter, the traditions and the togetherness. And actually my producer is just handing me a note telling me that Home Depot has something called build once a month with projects for kids and snacks. And so there's all kinds of free resources in your communities that you have, your kids, your family. Do not buy the lie that your family needs a perfect vacation. They need family members who are present. And so just decide before you leave. Let me walk you through some practical strategies. I'll give you five of them quickly here. Okay, Decide before you leave. What are the expectations for tech engagement? Are you going to check work, email, how often, under what circumstances? Who's going to be on their phone, when? What is the expectation? If you don't set the boundaries before vacation, you don't want to be having those discussions and negotiations in the moment. Number two, designate a communication window. So instead of constant monitoring, say hey, once in the morning, once in the evening, whatever, or not at all, whatever it is, hey, this is the hour that we have. Everybody can get on their tech. You can check your email, you can check your social media, you can message, you can stream, you can do whatever. This is our designated tech check in time. And, and really a five minute scheduled check is really different from just being available all day long. Number three, family accountability. Now this is one that's not always popular, but I really believe in it. Give your kids permission to call you out. So if you set the expectations, you set the tech check in time and somebody's violating that, make a family code work. Feel free to call them out. Let your kids do that respectfully. Of course they have to do it respectfully, but yeah, if you've agreed to it. Kids love to hold adults accountable. It's so fun to put the shoe on the other foot and say, get off your phone, dad. They love to say that. my family's way of saying that is, hey, hang up and hang out. You know, we're supposed to be engaged right here. And make it playful, make it expected. And that is helpful. Number four, create intentional device free moments. Create a moment where nobody has their device. Whether that's a meal, a walk, a game, a specific event. Not every hour necessarily has to be screen free, but some things should be tech free times. And number five, replace scrolling with something better. So instead of checking your email, your sports scores, your stock updates, your social media, try reading aloud, playing a card game, telling your family stories, sharing adventures, nature walks, just something that is really silly and practical. I don't know how, but I've started in my house. I have college guys who like to do puzzles. I buy puzzles that will be appealing to college guys because it's something so different. It's something nobody has. A puzzle in their dorm. They're looking for novelty. Maybe that's a record player, maybe that's old photo albums. Grandparents can really lean into this. Bring out vintage show and tell. Kids would love that. You can try so many different things because listen, God's pattern for our life includes rest. A vacation is not laziness. Not doing anything is not wrong. Rest is part of God's design. And from creation onward, there are rhythms of work and worship and rest. In scripture, we were just never intended to operate in a perpetual Status of continual availability. 24, 7. Every notification is competing for your attention. And our attention shapes our affection. And we want to shape our affection toward the things of God. And that includes your family. That affection shapes those relationships. So make your notifications, shift your attention to your family, shift your affection and shape your relationship. Because where your attention goes, those relationships will grow. So this summer, don't just plan a vacation, plan your availability. Whether that's just a day at the lake or an afternoon at home, how present will you be? Because one day your children aren't going to remember all of the productivity they had. They're going to remember the gift of, your presence. Listen, I got home front headlines coming right up.

 : America's 250th birthday. It's a great excuse to have some extra cake and ice cream, but we can help your celebration go well beyond that. Show your patriotism with America 250 apparel that will become a memento of this special year. We also have special episodes on AFA Stream to help underscore that America is a Christian nation and help you find God in the Constitution. Find all of this and more in one place. afa.net/topics/250

Any More by CAIN: You heard a thousand times before after the choices you made you waiting for me to say I couldn't love you anymore the enemy has lied to you but listen to me here's the truth I couldn't love you anymore what can I do right now there's no way I wouldn't go to get to you my drive take a look at the cross then you'll know it for sure I couldn't love you I couldn't love you anymore anymore anymore than I do

Dr. Jessica Peck: right now anymore anymore welcome back, friends. That is anymore by CAIN And such a great truth that God couldn't love you any more than he does right now Listen welcome to this fry yay edition of the show.

Set boundaries now for tech headlines that impact your home

We talked about our healthy habit for this week, which is unplugging on vacation. Whether you are staying in your home for the afternoon or going on a grand adventure for a month or the summer, I encourage you to set boundaries now for tech. And you know, some of those things that are difficult to set boundaries on are the headlines that are coming to us. And the way that the headlines are presented are designed to make us worried, to make us anxious to seek more information because we feel like somehow that gives us an illusion of control. Like, well, if I know more about it, then I can protect my family. And there's some truth to that. But I have looked at the home front headlines. These are headlines that impact your home. And I'm going to give you a rundown because really, the best way for us to consume the news is to get it from a trusted source. Get just enough information that we know what's going on, why it's important to us, and how we should respond to it. And that's what I'm going to dive into right now. Some headlines that I have been following that are impacting families and again, how you can respond to it.

Researchers found perfectionism has steadily increased among college students

One headline that caught my eye this week is that is a headline about college students reaching record levels of anxiety. Now, these researchers review, reviewed 35 years of data. That's a long time to look at. And they reviewed this Data involved nearly 83,000 college students in particular, and they found that perfectionism has steadily increased. Now, this is no surprise to me at all because I've shared the story before. As I did a suicide prevention event in my community. I gave all of the students a post it note as they walked in. Ask them, what do you see on social media that your parents don't know about? And ask them to write that on the on the post it note and put it on a board. Now, the parents were at this event and they were on the other side of the room, couldn't wait to go and see what was on there. They thought it was going to be violence and explicit things and all kinds of inappropriate things. But I was really shocked to see one variation of a word. Now, the kids did not talk to each other or, you know, conspire to make this one word, but that word was a variation of the word perfect perfection. They are growing up in a world that's curated for them online, and they feel pressure to be perfect. Young adults, adults especially, are experiencing greater fear of failure. We used to not be afraid to fail because that was a normal part of growing up. But we're also seeing kids who are afraid of judgment because of the vitriol that comes to them on social media. Anxiety about making a mistake because a mistake can be put on blast. And just recently, I was talking with a college student who had talked about a very, very mild, statement that she had put out on social media. One comment that just expressed her beliefs. There was, in my estimation, nothing wrong with what she said, but it was contrary to the values of a lot of people in her school. And she got death threats over it. And this had been several years ago and she still was in tears about it. Heartbreaking. All of these things are linked to higher rates of anxiety and depression. We need to know that today's kids aren't just trying to succeed. They feel pressure to be flawless in succeeding. Not only should they succeed, they should succeed perfectly. And we know practically that success does not come without failure. Even Albert Einstein, if I'm remembering correctly, or Thomas Edison, one of the great inventors, said that I haven't discovered the way to succeed without discovering many, many more ways to fail. And many students really believe the lie that their value comes from their achievements rather than their character. And as parents and grandparents at home, we are subtly reinforcing this. This by complimenting their achievements, their grades, their sports accolades, their talents, their skills, rather than complimenting their characters. One of the reasons why I talk a lot about really valuing and affirming, giving words of affirmation for their character, telling them, hey, you showed self control in that game. Hey, you were really brave in that game. Get up after you struck out. that takes bravery. You showed self control by not throwing your helmet or whatever it is, affirming the character traits. Because social media may amplify this problem. But again, researchers are suggesting, as we already know, really, that deeper cultural forces are at work because we, again, are being part of the problem by reinforcing that perfectionism by looking at our kids as products to, to, really curate rather than people to invest in. God calls us to faithfulness, not, not flawlessness. So we've got to teach children that mistakes are normal. We've got to be honest about our mistakes, share stories of when you failed, when you fell down, when you failed spectacularly, and how it helped you grow. It didn't ruin your life. We've got to celebrate effort and perseverance and character as much as we celebrate achievement. And never, never miss an opportunity to remind children their identity comes from being loved by God, not from the qualifications on their resume. Because we know from Romans 5, 8, while we were still sinners, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. So perfectionism is saying, I am what I achieve, but the gospel says I am who God says I am. That is so important.

Regular church attendance is correlated with lower rates of depression and loneliness

No surprise that we're continuing to see headlines talking about declining mental health in young people. Today, we are seeing some areas of bright spots, and one of those was a headline that popped out to me this week about church attendance. Now, a recent report found an association. Again, this is not rocket science. This is not surprising. Regular church attendance is correlated with lower rates of depression and loneliness. Who, who knew? Go figure. Researchers really point to the protective benefits of community and belonging and a shared purpose and meaningful relationships. And so we see today, kids, as I've talked about at the beginning of the show, kids report unprecedented levels of loneliness. Despite being connected digitally constantly. They are very relationally disconnected because many of those connections that they're making online are not people who are invested in them, who care about them. In fact, increasingly they're robots, they're AI chatbots and that emulate human emotions that seem like they care about you, that remember more things than mom or dad, that tell you what you want to hear instead of the truth that may be helpful to you to prevent destruction later on. And families underestimate the mental health value of belonging to that healthy faith community. About being around people who see you at your best and your worst at the, at the high points of your life and the low points of your life. Those people who are going to show up with casseroles or whatever food they're going to bring over, I'm, from the South. We bring casseroles, whatever it is. You can also always bring barbecue or Mexican food. Like food is a love language of care, but it's people who are going to walk alongside you. And church provides relationships across generations. So maybe older kids are invested in younger kids and that makes them feel competent and confident that God has equipped them to serve. Maybe they are meeting, with older mentors who are their life group leaders, their Sunday school teachers there. And in walking in community with them, it is so important to do. Because church was never intended just to be a weekly event that we check off on a checklist. God designed people for community. And our faith is strengthened not just through what we believe, but how we belong to the body of Christ. So I encourage you, go back to. This is habit number three. Now prioritize regular, consistent participation. Plugging into a church. You can go back and listen to that third Friday show if you want more tips on how to plug into a church, especially if you are someone who has experienced the very real problem of being hurt by a church. Because church is imperfect people. And it's kind of cliche, but I've heard it said that it's a hospital for sinners, it's not a museum for saints. And we are going to be messy. Life is messy. But it is encouraging to see research show that those faith practices together strengthen identity and. And Hebrews 10, 24 and 25 says, don't give up meeting together because the opposite of loneliness is not filling our schedule with activity. It's belonging somewhere. And one place that you can belong is in the body of Christ. So what is something that you could do to help your family's Mental health, you can get plugged into a church.

Another overlooked family health habit that we talked about actually during routines is sleep patterns

Another overlooked family health habit that we talked about actually during routines headline that are showing this are sleep patterns. Really we are seeing more attention on sleep because sleep is a good and godly thing. God designed our bodies to sleep. And you know, we say things like sleep is for babies. And whoever said that obviously never had a baby or, or was just blessed to have a baby that slept well because babies usually don't sleep that great. But when we see how much sleep impacts us in a world that is constantly on, where you can constantly stream, where marketers are trying to keep you scrolling later and later into the night because there's more opportunity for exposure to advertisers and marketing, we are seeing that really our overall health declines. It impacts your immune system, not just your mood, but long term health impacts. Because this particular research that I was looking at is this headline found that teens who stay up later and wake up later, they tend to consume more calories, snack more frequently, skip breakfast and be less physically active. So this is not surprising at all. But it is kind of a natural rhythm for teens. But we really need to prioritize and model good sleep. Having good sleep, hygiene, having a good bedtime routine, morning routine. We talked about all of those things before and I just want to reinforce that, you know, if you're having conflict in your home, it may be because everybody's sleepy and grumpy. Maybe you're just not getting good sleep. And maybe if you would pay attention to that and maybe get that in line, it might improve things. Because we sometimes focus on nutrition or exercise or even behavior, but we overlook the impact of sleep. Sleep impacts mood, attention, learning, behavior, appetite, motivation, and again, a lot of teen struggles in particular that can appear to be just behavioral bad attitude stuff. It can be really chronic sleep deprivation. So sleep is not a sign of weakness. Rest is a part of God's design for human flourishing. And when we sleep in a good way, it teaches stewardship of the body that God has entrusted to us. And Psalm 127:2 has become one of my new favorite verses. He grants sleeps to his beloved, so he loves us and he gives us sleep. You can't out parent, you can't outmaneuver chronic sleep deprivation. So really I encourage you to assess and really think about that now when we're still talking about some encouraging news, because I feel like bringing you some good news on this Friday. Another good news thing that I saw this week was actually the 988 suicide hotline now since that has been implemented, you know, 911 is the phone number for physical emergencies that you call. And many of you probably have seen the show of, of that of calling. 911-988 is a mental health hotline. And researchers did find that the launch of this suicide and crisis lifeline was associated with about 4, 400 fewer suicide deaths among teens and young adults than expected during its first two and a half years. The now every life saved is worth celebrating. Every life saved because every life is precious in the sight of God. From even preconception all the way through death and eternity, life is precious to God. And we have been seeing this. I've been following this with great concern for several years as suicide has now become the second leading cause of death for young people. And it really breaks my heart that there are some young people who are more afraid of living than they are of dying. And youth mental health challenges remain significant. And so this study provides more evidence. We have evidence already, but evidence that intervention works. Many times people are hesitant to bring it up. They don't want to give ideas to somebody who didn't have ideas before. But research really shows that asking, talking saves lives. So asking about that conversation saves lives. Knowing that help is available. We always want to connect kids to help. But one thing that I tell kids everywhere I go is that anytime anyone even makes a joke about their own life, about ending their life or the the lack of value in their life, I always teach kids to say to stop and say, hey, what you said concerns me. Let's talk about that. Can I ask you about that? Don't just laugh it off. Always go to a trusted adult. And parents should know where to turn before a crisis developed because every life bears the image of God. So I for teenagers, they can have this number in their phone. If you're ever in a crisis, period, and you don't know who else to call, at least you can call this. But you really want to connect them to a real adult in their life who is trusted, who's going to walk alongside them in a healthy relationship and hopefully that is going to ideally that's going to be their parents. Hope is always worth extending. Asking for help is a sign of wisdom. It is not a weakness. And as Christian families, we want to create homes where struggles can be discussed openly without shame. Galatians 6:2 says, Carry one another's burdens and in so doing the fulfill the law of Christ. And hope often arrives through a conversation. So I encourage you to have that. Make sure you know your family knows what 988 is, how to use it. Seeking help is courageous and mental health struggles deserve the same dignity and attention as physical health struggles. So really all human beings are created in the image of God. I pray that you'll rest in God's grace, live in God's community, find your identity in Christ and make most of all. I pray that the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face shine upon you as you hang up and hang out with your family this summer. Create some time for them. They deserve it. God designed it. I'll see you on Monday.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.