Transcript

Dr. Jessica Peck: We would like to take a moment to thank our sponsor, preborn. When a mother meets her baby on ultrasound and hears their heartbeat, it's a divine connection. And the majority of the time she will choose life. But they can't do it without our help. Preborn needs us, the pro life community, to come alongside them. One ultrasound is just $28. To donate, dial pound 250 and say the keyword BABY or visit preborn.com/AFR hello

 : and welcome to the Dr. Nurse Mama show prescribing Hope for healthy families here on American family Radio. Here's your host, professor, pediatric nurse practitioner and mom of four, Dr. Jessica Peck.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, hey there, friends, and welcome to my favorite time of day, getting to spend time with you prescribing Hope for healthy families. And I know some of you really look forward to this day, although you didn't know it was going to be this day. It is this day. Today is Declutter Diaries day. Yep.

Dr. Jessica Peck: We have our once a month segment

Dr. Jessica Peck: where we're helping families declutter. And this has been, really transformational for me personally. One of the reasons why we call it declutter diaries, this is something I struggle with greatly. And this is not just a stuff issue. This is a heart issue. And one of the things I've been thinking about a lot and, and thinking about in prepar knowing that today was going to be our declutter diary day, I've noticed that it's really becoming harder and harder to be content. There is an epidemic of a lack of contentment. If you're anything like me, you've probably had something like this happen. Like you pick up your phone to check the weather, answer a text and you see a social media notification and 20 minutes later, you've somehow convinced yourself, oh, I absolutely cannot go another moment without that new water bottle, that organization

Dr. Jessica Peck: system, that pair of sho.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Kitchen the stone. Now, it's like the stone dish drying mat that everybody's trying to sell you. You weren't even shopping. You just opened your phone and before you know it, someone has very, very masterfully planted the idea that what you have isn't quite enough. And this is the world we're raising our families in. And our children aren't the only ones who are being influenced. We are too. Every swipe, every click, every search, we. It's teaching us something about what really matters. What, what does success look like? what promises happiness? What? I'll be content. Oh, I would be so much happier if I had. And if we're not careful, our Hearts are being shaped less by God's word and more by the endless stream of messages that are coming through our screens. And we have moved beyond an economy that simply sells us products. No more Sears catalog. This is one that is competing for our attention every waking moment. The average American is exposed to thousands of marketing messages every single day. AI is studying our habits. And it's really kind of creepy. Honestly, it's more than kind of creepy. It is just plain creepy. It remembers what we clicked yesterday, and maybe not even what we clicked, but just what we lingered over. And it's using that information to predict what we'll want to use what we'll want tomorrow. And it's doing that by. By sowing seeds of discontentment. Oh, let's feed that a little. And the result is that many of us aren't making purchasing decisions as much as we're just responding impulsively to carefully engineered invitations because we see these messages of urgency, like limited time, almost gone. You deserve this. People like you also looked at, people like you also bought. These messages are designed intentionally to bypass thoughtful stewardship and appeal directly to our emotions. And if we are really honest with ourselves, which I'm inviting you to do with me today, they work.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It, works.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's effective. And I've been asking myself really thoughtfully, and I hope that you'll ask yourself too, who is discipling my desires? Who is shaping my desires? What forces are they? Because every day, before I've even opened my Bible, someone else is trying to shape what I want, what I long for, what I'm reaching for. Before my first cup of. Of coffee on honestly, before my phone is already telling me what I'm missing out on, what I should upgrade, what purchase is going to make my life easier, happier, more complete. And this. These advertisements are giving adults messages of, you don't have enough.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You aren't enough.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But this could fix it. And we fall prey to that. I know it because I see the reels about, you know, we just had Amazon Prime Day that happened, and all

Dr. Jessica Peck: of the reels that happened with wives

Dr. Jessica Peck: trying to hide the packages or husbands

Dr. Jessica Peck: trying to hide the packages that they get to.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And that is a thing. And maybe it's been a thing in

Dr. Jessica Peck: my own house, too.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But that message does stand in direct opposition to the gospel that reminds us in Christ, we have everything that we need. And the marketplace is really personal. But here's the thing. The gospel is personal, too. But we have to have some effort there. There's not that slick marketing, and we've programmed it to override it. Those messages.

92% of Americans admit they've impulse purchases, according to research

Dr. Jessica Peck: Now, recent research shows that 92% of

Dr. Jessica Peck: Americans admit they've impulse purchases. Clearly, the other 8% are lying.

Dr. Jessica Peck: With the average consumer spending more than

Dr. Jessica Peck: $3,000 a year on unplanned buying.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And more than one third of Americans say that most of their purchases weren't even planned in advance. And meanwhile, of course, we rail about the American consumer debt that's climbed to

Dr. Jessica Peck: more than $18 trillion, even as many

Dr. Jessica Peck: families say we're struggling to afford groceries and housing and everyday necessities. And sometimes those are really extreme problems. And I know that there are certain circumstances that are excluded from this conversation. But we're not just talking about money problems. We're talking about stewardship and discipleship. Because every purchase tells a story about

Dr. Jessica Peck: what we believe will make us happy, what we believe will satisfy us, what we believe will give us contentment.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And our homes have become really warehouses, storage warehouses for yesterday's impulses. That's what happens. Our closets are full, our garages are overflowing, our storage units multiply. And our anxiety rises alongside that. And we're working longer hours to pay for things that we're really not using and having less time for the people that we bought them for in the first place. Now, I think parents feel this pressure in very unique ways because we want to give our kids opportunity. Every experience, every convenience is somewhere along the way. We're quietly trading margin for maintenance of the stuff that we've now acquired. We spend our weekends organizing said stuff instead of creating memories. And we're buying toys to keep our children entertained when what they really want is just our attention and that doesn't require any purchase at all. Our kids are watching and they're learning how we spend our money.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And scripture never says that possessions are the problem. It's possessions becoming our master. That's the problem. That is the problem. And one of the most counter cultural words that we can say is enough.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm not buying that today.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Enough comparison, enough chasing, enough believing that another, another delivery truck is going to bring you the perf life. And so today we are talking with Kathi Lipp, best selling author, speaker, founder of Clutter Free Academy. You can go to Facebook and you can tell her, send a little message

Dr. Jessica Peck: and say, hey, I'm with the doctor, nurse, mama family.

Dr. Jessica Peck: She will let you in. She loves our people. And for years, and now for us, for several months now, she's helped thousands of families untangle the relationship between clutter and spending and contentment and faith and rediscover the freedom that comes from living with intention rather than impulse.

Step off the treadmill of consumption, of consumerism. Rediscover gratitude

And so today we're going to talk about something called low by July. It sounds like it's a budgeting exercise, but it really is a reset for your heart, an opportunity. Step off the treadmill of consumption, of consumerism. Rediscover gratitude. Become a better steward of what God has provided for you. And teach our children that joy is not found in accumulating more, but in appreciate what we've already been given. Kathi, welcome back. I look forward to the revelations that lie ahead today.

Kathi Lipp: This is one of my favorite hours every single month. I just love chatting with you because you so deeply get this. And, you know, I talk to a lot of people who don't, say, say that they don't have a clutter problem. but I also notice, man, they're wearing a lot of new clothes. They've got a lot of new adventures going on. And that's not a judgment. It's just like, wow, you're really good at seeing, you know, putting that someplace where it's not clutter. But I also know we have a lot of closet clutterers out there, people who, you know, it's hidden. And so it may not be as apparent, to go into their house. And you don't think of them as cluttery people. Some of us are just better at organizing our clutter than others.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That is very true. Some of us are literally closet clutterers. And I tend to do that. You know, you can walk in and

Dr. Jessica Peck: everything can look okay on the surface,

Dr. Jessica Peck: but boy, oh, boy, do not open the closet door. You will take your life into your own hands. It is very true. And Kathi, you know what I was

Dr. Jessica Peck: saying earlier, I really have been thinking about this a lot, that our culture is really normalizing. Consumption is entertainment. We see this in Amazon influencers and other influencers who really give you a

Dr. Jessica Peck: show and feel like, you know, they

Dr. Jessica Peck: bring you into your family and they're required to disclose that they, that they, earn m money from that. And I'm not, I'm not shaming anybody that does that for a living. Thank you. Because, you know, there's some times where you really do help me with a

Dr. Jessica Peck: solution or give me, a suggestion of something that I really like to wear.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But shopping has become therapy. Add to cart is not.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Is not a good strategy.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's not a good strategy for boredom relief or stress management or even as a way of expressing our identity. But honestly, I think under all of those purchases there's something deeper that lies. You know, more than just having a, you know, the latest kitchen gadget, I couldn't really tell you what it

Dr. Jessica Peck: was because I don't really cook. Those don't tempt me. But I. I know we all have our thing.

Dr. Jessica Peck: So let's talk about low by July. Let's introduce this Kathi, because many people have heard it. M. Maybe people haven't heard it. What is it? And how is this. How is this unique and different? What is low by July?

Kathi Lipp: Yeah. So we started off with no by July. But can I tell you, me, along with every other cluttery person are black, and white people, right? So we knew. We knew we had to change. When one of my favorite members of the group, Kari, said, I failed it. No by July. And I said, oh, tell me more. She said, I got. I got a nail in my tire and I had to go get that tire replaced. I'm like, oh, Kari, Kari, Kari, Kari. no, that's not a failure. And so I. We had to rename it because people can be so mean to themselves. And, ah, you know, and she felt like she had to go to confessional. And what I know is that this all or nothing, mindset can really. It can do. It can play havoc on me. Like, okay, I've already blown it, so I might as well just go ahead and, put everything that's in my Amazon cart and just hit send. Yeah, let's do that. Or, so we went to low by July because that all or nothing, mindset is saying, you either pass or fail. And I. I love long obedience in the same direction. And to say, July is the month that we start really paying attention. We start noticing where the leaks are happening and plugging the ones that cause the most clutter. Financial stress or just plain up stress. Because, we go into town probably every other week to pick up our packages. And, it. It is. It's been embarrassing a couple of times that I'm like, wait, Roger, what did you order? He's like, I don't remember ordering anything. And so I. I feel like I'm solving a problem at the moment. But what I'm actually doing oftentimes is causing more of a problem because I have to figure out, where does this go? What are we doing with this? And also, it's Amazon makes it easy to return things, but you actually have to do it. And not everybody's great about that.

Kathi Lipp: I have never been obsessed with a sponge

And I also want to touch on what you said about the influencers really quickly. The the number of people who can get, like, so excited about a sponge.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And

Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm sorry, Kathi, that makes me laugh so hard because I can see it. It's true.

Kathi Lipp: Right? Right. When. Whenever somebody says I'm obsessed, I'm like, you're overselling. Because I have. I have found sponges I like. I have two sponges that I use, but I have never been obsessed with a sponge.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And so I cannot stop doing.

Kathi Lipp: What they're doing is saying, hey, Jessica, you have a real problem. You don't like doing the dishes, but if I sell you this sponge, you're going to start, like, doing, like, liking doing the dishes. And there is no sponge that's going to make that happen. I. Dishes are a necessity. They're not something I really enjoy. I do them because I want a peaceful kitchen. And so. But the promise of you're not even going to notice the dishes anymore because you've got this sponge and so low m by July is just. I'm going to take a breath. I'm not going to order anything. If that sponge, really real, will change my life, it will also change my life in August, but I don't have to order it in July. I'm just going to take a deep pause, take a deep breath and say, because what influencers are doing. And by the way, I consider myself an influencer. I. I have. Have sold things online. I have. I. I want to influence people to declutter. I. I want to use my influence to improve people's lives. So this, like you, I am not judging anybody unless you tell me. That's fun. She's gonna change, my life. But.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, you know what? But hold that thought, Kathi, because we're already at our first break. But when we come back, we'll talk

Dr. Jessica Peck: about that more, because you have got my brain spinning about influencers, about opening packages that we don't even know what's inside. And that promise, that overselling promise that we're buying. Lots more to talk about with Kathi Lipp. We'll be right back. This year, America celebrates its 250th birthday. Two and a half centuries of courage, innovation, faith, and freedom. But what will the next 250 years hold? The next generation could hold the next Billy Graham, the next Rosa Parks, the next Ronald Reagan, the next child whose life will impact generations. But first, they must be given the chance to live it. I couldn't imagine my life without him. Because of them. he's here.

Dr. Jessica Peck: We're gonna get through it, and it's gonna be okay. Everyday preborn network clinics helps mothers facing unexpected pregnancies discover hope through a free ultrasound. When a mother sees her baby and hears that tiny heartbeat, her baby is twice as likely to be given the gift of life. What story will God write through America's next generation? In honor of America's 250th anniversary, we're asking friends to consider a special gift of $250. Your gift can help provide nearly nine life saving ultrasounds. Dial pound250 and say the keyword baby, that's pound250 baby or donate [email protected]/AFR. that's preborn.com/AFR Every gift is tax- deductible.

Up + Up by Colton Dixon: Even though I walk through the valley Sometimes it feels like a crow through the valley but I got a promise that I hold on tight too I can't lose when I'm right beside you yeah gotta know the plans you have for me when my cup is overflowing so I'm in the end between I'm a little my life knowing if I get down you pick me up from the ground? You give me love and don't give out? Giving all conditions you lift me up and up again now no matter who surround I let my hallelujah get by like a freight train sunshine I lift you up and up again.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends. That is up + up by Colton Dixon.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And no matter which direction your day

Dr. Jessica Peck: is going, I hope it goes up, at least for the rest of this

Dr. Jessica Peck: hour because we are here to lift

Dr. Jessica Peck: you up in another episode of what

Dr. Jessica Peck: we call the declutter diaries. We are talking about the heart issues

Dr. Jessica Peck: that run through America right now as

Dr. Jessica Peck: we're talking about things like over consumption

Dr. Jessica Peck: and discontentment and all of those things

Dr. Jessica Peck: that cause us to buy things and pile things up in our house and then argue with our families about all of the things that are laying around. And kid, you bought something for your kids and now they're not taking care of it and you're, you know, my

Dr. Jessica Peck: closet is overflowing onto my husband's side or your husband's garage is overflowing. Whatever it is that you're fighting about,

Dr. Jessica Peck: it's more than just stuff. And today we're talking with Kathi Lipp about low by July, you can find her clutter free academy on facebook. It's free. Free. You can get in there, just send a little message. Say that you're from the doctor, nurse, mama family. She loves love, loves our people. She will let you in. And Kathi, we were just about to

Dr. Jessica Peck: pull some really Good threads out of

Dr. Jessica Peck: the conversation, what we're talking about. You've introduced low by July, which is a challenge for a reset. This is such a great time. And Kathi, you're about to make me so happy here because I feel like I'm even legitimized in saying this. July is a great time to already get ready for Christmas. Would you agree? We have now to look at our budget and save some money now for Christmas.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Am I wrong?

Kathi Lipp: No, you are not wrong. And if you know how you're going into December, July can affect that. You can not only start to save that money, but really start to set that mindset of I, because I, I know I can tend to over buy for my, my people because I love them and I want to do delightful things. Things. But this is also a good time to communicate what Christmas is going to look like, especially if you have adult children or older children. July last year is when I said, hey, I love doing the stockings but I've got long covet. That's not happening. So everybody in our family did about a five dollar gift for the stockings and everybody agreed that's the best thing we've ever done. And so, you know, but you can't tell people that at Thanksgiving, right? So you set the intention now people have almost half of the year to wrap their brains around it. It's good.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I love it. I love any time I can bring up Christmas. I know you after Thanksgiving, people just put up with me. But thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing that.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I appreciate it.

There are influencers at work who are really good at their job

Dr. Jessica Peck: And let's go back, Kathi, to talking about some of those influences that keep us from doing that. We all have that best intention. We all think, yeah, I want that. But there are influencers at work who are really, really good at their job. And sometimes that can be a helpful thing. And sometimes if we're really honest, that can be a hurtful thing and a thing that, that trips us up. And you were talking.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I really can't stop laughing because you're so right.

Dr. Jessica Peck: How many reels do we see where people are?

Dr. Jessica Peck: I'm obsessed, obsessed. And then you hear the clicky sound, you know, like, oh, look at this.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Like whoever decided that's how we do it, like put it up against your

Dr. Jessica Peck: hand and oh, you need to have it. Click the link.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's, it's going to sell out. You' to buy it.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Now all of these things we're talking

Dr. Jessica Peck: about, like you said, a dish sponge. But what you just said, that was the revelation. I knew it would Come. But honestly, that's the revelation, because we're buying a promise. Like, oh, if I buy that, I won't mind doing the dishes. And I'm with you, Kathi. There's nothing that's going to make me like doing dishes. I love doing laundry. Dishes.

Kathi Lipp: Yep.

Dr. Jessica Peck: How do we really guard our hearts from being subject to that? Because it's not a conscious thought. We don't think that. Like, I didn't think about that now.

Dr. Jessica Peck: How.

Dr. Jessica Peck: How do we implement that and load by July? How can we become more aware of that?

Kathi Lipp: I think, you know, and here we are already a week into July. So if you're like, well, I can't have a low by July now because July's already started, I would encourage you to just do a week, a week of resetting, a week of. I. I took Amazon off my phone. I took. I have a couple of apps that I, that are. They know what I'm looking for when I'm looking for it. And by the way, if you are buying on impulse, can I give you a little comfort here? There is, there. It's not just a thought process. It's an entire industry engineering you, socially engineering you to purchase. So I. And they've got decades of research on this. they are playing off your scarcity mentality. If I don't click the link now, they're probably. I mean, this is what Home Shopping Network is built on. You know, if you don't click now, you're not going to get this. And so Instagram has taken those lessons and said, oh, we're going to make sure that, you know, that this is running out, or, you know, 20 other people are looking at this item right now and it's like, oh, that it reaffirms. Oh, I have good taste. Oh, it reaffirms that it's worth splurging on this. Because I don't know if I can get it next month. Here's the thing. You can always get almost everything next month. There is nothing truly that special, that revolutionary that you're not. I mean, unless we're talking Taylor Swift tickets, you're going to be able to get the thing you want at another time. And so to be able to sit with that and say, I. I'm going to step back from that pressure right now. Take a moment to breathe, because if you had to wait 48 hours for everything that you were tempted to buy, you probably would not buy 90% of it. It's not everything, but it's a lot

Dr. Jessica Peck: of things that is so true, all of those things. And really what they do, Kathi, is they're, they're giving you little hits of dopamine, like, oh, I scored this great deal, you know, oh, I saved so much money. Oh, I got it, you know, when it was running out. Or, oh, you know, I, I'm one of the few, I have good taste or those kinds of things. And really we're talking about dopamine. And that is a brain chemical that's linked to anticipation, motivation, reward. And the truth is that marketing companies have learned how to use that and they use that by creating moments. We were just talking about this during the break that make us expect something good. A sale countdown or the limited time offer or surprise discount, like, oh, you're looking at something, oh, all of a sudden, come back, get it, we'll give it to you for 20 off, or you know there's something new that's there, or you get a higher status in their brand. I mean, it is all, like you said, engineered. And when we see these cues, our brain does release dopamine, other feel good chemicals, but primarily dopamine, which makes us feel curious, it makes you excited, it makes you motivated to act. And often it spikes before we get the reward. It spikes in the anticipation. And so that's why marketing focuses so much on teasers. And like you said, scarcity, novelty, small rewards, all of those kinds of things because they keep our brain engaged and make you more likely to come back or click for more.

Is what you ordered a true need or a manufactured want?

And that extends into getting the package. And I shared with you, Kathi, that the other day at, my son brought to me a package and said, hey, we got this on the porch. What is it? And I was like, I don't know. And he said, you don't know what you ordered? I was like, no.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And I mean, we don't have really long shipping here, you know, so I couldn't have ordered. It's not like I ordered it six weeks ago. I probably ordered it in the last

Dr. Jessica Peck: 24 to 48 hours. And then I thought, if I am not out there waiting and watching for it, then do I really need it? Am I really that, excited about it? But then when you open it up, you get another hit of dopamine, like, oh, it's like you just gave yourself a present twice. How do we resist that? Kathi, what have you found?

Kathi Lipp: Let's go to the mentality again, right? So if you don't know what you ordered, it was probably not a true need or want. It was a manufactured need or want. It was something that they said, hey, you've got this hole in your life. Life. We've got the thing to put in that hole for your life. We're going to make sure that you're fulfilled. And so it's that book you didn't. You'd never heard of before, but it sounded intriguing to you. It's the new style of water cup that, you know, you have 15 water cups, but this new one, it has the retractable straw. So that's gonna make me drink more water, right? it's. It's supplement for an ailment I didn't even know I had. And so what they're doing, when we can say, is this a true need or is this a manufactured need? And again, if we can build in that pause, and I think I don't want to do suggest this in a controlling way, but if you have a healthy relationship in your life, whether it's a marriage or a best friend or maybe even, a teenager or young adult child that you say, you know what? What? I realize I am just too impulsive. And so I'm gonna clear. I'm gonna give you access to my Amazon account, my J. Jill account, my. Whatever the account is. And, not for you to be punishing, but just so somebody knows, I know that at some point you can go in there and ask me about my purchases and just say, hey, I'm just curious what led you to get this? And it has to be somebody who is. And who isn't going to be punishing, but just somebody that you respect that you don't want to say. Yeah, well, let me tell you why I got the bunny slippers. Because I didn't know I needed bunny slippers, but they promised I'd be able to sleep better if I wore them in the evening. Like, these are the things. These are the claims people are making. They're just as ridiculous as that.

What are some emotional and situational triggers that cause us to spend unnecessarily?

Dr. Jessica Peck: Well, Kathi, you've. You've helped thousands of people in your clutter free academy. What do you see? boots on the ground. Your experience as the biggest emotional and situational triggers that cause us to spend unnecessarily? You talked about that manufactured need, and I think that's a great starting point. Is this something I really need, or

Dr. Jessica Peck: is this a need that's just been sold to me like, I was actually content until I knew that there was this solution there.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But what are some of the other emotional and situational triggers that can make us. Us more prone to buy something that we just don't need?

Kathi Lipp: So I think that there is fear, fear that people are going to look at me differently if I don't dress a certain way. And guys, none of us are saying to ourselves, if I don't dress a certain way, people are going to look down on me. But, maybe you are saying, you know what I think, Think, this, my old sweatshirt from last year doesn't look as cute as this one. And I want to be seen as somebody who takes good care of themselves. I want to be seen like. It's this fear of being left out that can often drive us to buy we it. And it's so insidious, we don't even know that guilt. If, if I get my kids these arm floating floaties, which they already have arm floaties, but I think these are going to be a little bit better. Then I'm going, I will be perceived or I will perceive myself as a better mom. And then shame. I don't want to be, I don't want to be looked at as cheap. I don't want to be looked at as unthoughtful. But I. So that will drive us to buy. But I think there's another one. I don't consider myself somebody who gets bored easily. Like, I love to read, I love to watch tv, I love to write. There I have so many things. But some of those things when I'm tired are hard. I, I can't pay attention to the book or whatever. So the easiest thing to do is scroll. And boredom, is a great inducer to spend because what you were talking about before, and I don't understand the science like you do, but I know what a dopamine hit feels like. I know that deeply. And to be able to say, say, oh, you know, right in that moment, I got the sale. It's 55% off. It was never 100% ever. but I'm able to combat that boredom because sometimes we're not great about being left alone with our own thoughts. And if we're in a stressful situation, that can de. Stress us really, really quickly.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Those are all such great observations. I think the most important thing you said, Kathi was talking about how insidious it was. That was the word you used. And I agree, because the world is moving at the speed of a smartphone. We are not stopping to analyze our behavior, our thoughts, the path from entry into being exposed to an ad and then buying it. But we are certainly, like you said, you know what it feels like. You know what it feels like to do that. And that's what marketing companies, though they are, are spending money. They're hiring psychologists, they are investing everything in their business strategy to get your thumb to move faster than the prefrontal cortex in your brain, which is your logic, your spending, you know, your executive decision and decision making. And honestly, Kathi, as you were talking about it, it reminds me of a term that, a trend, actually, that's really popular right now that I may or may not have used, on my husband a few times already, because we

Dr. Jessica Peck: talk about it like it's humorous, but this kind of talks about that. That, this.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That what we're talking about. It's girl math.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Now, I don't know if you've heard girl math.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, yeah, I posted about it today.

Dr. Jessica Peck: No way. Are you serious?

Kathi Lipp: I did. I said that meal is free because I already had all the ingredients. Girl math, right.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, that's a good spin on it.

Kathi Lipp: Yes, yes. I'm already using what I have. So the meal is free. Or I returned these three packages to Amazon that totaled $74, but I bought this shirt at 32. So girl math. I just earned $42.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, my goodness. Okay, we're gonna have to come back to this when we come back, because I think that that is culture's humorous way of providing its own commentary and saying, hey, here's the trends that are going on, and here's the good part about it, and here's what's really bad that we're just trying to cope with with humor.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But living with less isn't about punishment. When we want. When we come back, I want to talk about how do we frame this to our families? Because I grew up in a family that was constantly guilted about money. I don't want to do that. How do we present it as opportunity and not limitation? We'll be right back with more. And my father, your great grandfather fought in World War II. Really? He was a gunner on the big ship out in the Pacific Ocean. Wow. Your great grandmother did her part, too. Was she on a ship? Oh, no, she stayed back home. She and a lot of her friends worked really hard in a factory because the men had gone off to war and they held scrap metal drives to help in the war effort. The folks back home were heroes, too.

Jeff Chamblee: Here at the American Family association, we consider you the heroes back home as you fulfill your responsibility of caring for your family day to day. Your partnership with us is crucial as we fight the enemies of freedom in America. Thank you for your commitment to the American Family Association. Grandpa, what's a scrap Metal drive Let's get some cookies and I'll tell you all about it.

Look What You've Done by Tasha Layton: Look what you've done. how could you fall so far? You should be ashamed of yourself. So I was ashamed of myself. Myself. The lies I believed? They got some roots, they run deep? I let them take a hold of my life. I let them take control of my life? Standing in your presence, Lord, I can feel you digging all the roots up? I feel you healing all my wounds up? All I can say is hallelujah? Look what you've done? Look what you've done in me? You spoke your truth into the lies I letting my heart believe? Look at me now look how you made me new. The enemy did everything that he could do over. Look what you've done.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Welcome back, friends.

Dr. Jessica Peck: That is look what You've Done by Tasha Layton. And if you've been following along on our Declutter Diaries journey, I hope that

Dr. Jessica Peck: you can turn around and say, look what God has done in your life.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Because clutter is never just about stuff. There are heart issues that go along with that. Sometimes it can be childhood trauma or trauma that we've experienced that causes us to hold on to things. Sometimes it can be fears. It can be just boredom.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It can be just apathy.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It can be all kinds of things. But there are heart issues behind clutter, and clutter impacts relationships. And that's why we're talking to Kathi Lipp, decluttering expert on our series Declutter Diaries.

A lot of families feel financial pressure around Christmas time

And today we're talking about low by July. Now, this is a great month. We're halfway through the year. A lot of families feel financial pressure around Christmas time. We've talked about how it's a great time now now to stop and make some decisions that will better position you to be able to do what you want to do for those people you love, whether that's a dollar or five dollars or something extravagant, whatever it is. What are the opportunities you're giving away now for those opportunities that you have? We've also talked about some triggers and the marketing machines that are against us and how we are just. We don't even think about the pressures that are against us. But marketing forces are thinking about those 247 and trying to manufacture problems so they can sell you a solution. That is definitely happening. And right before the break, we were talking about girl math. Now, this is a funny trend. It's an Internet trend. And so for those of you who are saying, wait, what is this? Let me explain.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Let me back up and explain.

Dr. Jessica Peck: It's a Joke. It's a cultural commentary that describes the creative ways that people. And this is often women in memes. I will say it justify spending money. It's not actual math. It's not financial advice. It's just a playful way to rationalize your purchase. So, for example, you say, if I paid with cash, it's basically free because nothing came out of my bank account. Or if I spend $5 more, I get free shipping, so I saved this money.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Or just like Kathi had given an

Dr. Jessica Peck: example, or if I return something for store credit, anything that I buy with that credit is free because I'm not paying anything. Or if I wear this 200 dress 20 times, it only cost me $10 per wear. That's really cheap. It just is highlighting a common human 10 that we use mental shortcuts to justify spending to make it a little easier, to make it feel more justifiable. And it is funny. It is funny. But it also illustrates how our emotions and how our perceptions are influencing our financial decisions more than objective budgeting. And once again, if you go to Kathi Lipp's Clutter Free Academy, she has a lot of really practical starter steps for this is how you can really implement low by July. But really, Kathi and I today are talking about the heart reset behind it. And Kathi, one of the things that, I want to make sure we leave time for, so I'm going to lead with this, is that concept of spending, not spending as guilt as punishment. And I did grow up in a house that we live paycheck to paycheck, and we did not have very much money. And it was always, this is how much this costs, or don't spend this, or this is, you know, like, it just. I always felt guilty about asking for money or spending for money. There was just a constant commentary about, you know, how much I cost, like

Dr. Jessica Peck: how much my living cost.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And we. But then we. I feel like we swung the pendulum too far the other way. And now kids have, no idea what things cost because we're just. We just give them to them and it doesn't matter. How do we balance a healthy awareness in the middle and present this as, as a family opportunity for stewardship rather than a guilt, about spending or a guilt about, I had no idea how much you were spending on me.

Kathi Lipp: Yeah, Jessica, you bring up such a critical point. And I, I want to illustrate this by. We have a paid coaching group for decluttering. These are people that clutter has really interfered with their lives, and they pay me to coach them. And we had probably 20 people on a call this past Monday. And we just got onto the subject of how you grew up. And I said, how many of you grew up with some pretty severe restrictions on spending? Whether it was because your family just didn't have the finances or, they, they just didn't want to spend the money. And out of 20 people, 18 raised their hands. Now, now that's not scientific, but it, it definitely is an indication that the more that we say we can't afford that we can't do it. You have to be able to explain the situation. And when I asked, did anybody's parents explain why we couldn't have these things? No. So if you, if you would love to buy those things for your kids but you can't afford them, then they need to have, you need to have that discussion and say, you know, that is, that is not a luxury that we can indulge in right now. Some of the things we could do, maybe we could, depending on what it is, we could save up for it, you could work some jobs for it, et cetera, et cetera. Or if you just as a family say, this is not a value we hold, and let me explain why, but to just say you can't have it, you can't have it, you can't have it. No, no, no, no. Know, with no reasoning behind it. I have seen the other end of that and that's my paid membership. It's this kickback of saying, well, I couldn't afford it then, I can afford it now, but it comes out in very unhealthy ways. It comes out and I'm not going to buy the shirt that I wanted as a kid, but I'm going to buy 10 cheap shirts because I want to have choice and I want to have access us. And so this is not to make anybody to feel guilty, it's just to say, support your reasoning so that people understand. It's really important that our kids understand what the finances of our family. And it can be as detailed or as undetailed as you need it to be. But it's important to understand that they have a basic understanding of why your family lives the way it does.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I think there are a lot of families who have kids who really don't have any conception of how much things cost and the value of a dollar. And I know I saw all of my kids who are now young adults, you know, when they started, as pretty much everybody does in a minimum wage job, you know, and they start earning their first paycheck, they Start to recognize the value of a dollar really quick. I remember taking my daughter shopping one year, and I had bought her a couple of things. And the next year we went back and we were shopping in the. The same store, but this time I gave her money and I said, you know, this is on you. Here's your budget. Here's what you have to spend. You can, you know, buy whatever you'd like within this, this budget.

Dr. Jessica Peck: She comes up to me, Kathi, and

Dr. Jessica Peck: she says, mom, the prices in this store have gone up so much in the last year. Like, this is expensive.

Dr. Jessica Peck: And I looked at her and I said, now this is preco. Kathi. So I said, oh, right, no, no, the prices haven't gone up at all. This is the difference between your money and my money.

How can we gamify things like low buy July or make it fun?

Dr. Jessica Peck: So I would love to hear some more practical things. How can we embrace this as a family stewardship and even, like, make it fun? Because we know that, marketing forces gamify things against us. How can we gamify things like low by July or make it fun?

Kathi Lipp: Such a great question. So, for, my. The person who helped create Clutter Free Academy with me, her name's Tanya. She has younger kids. And so we talked about, how do we do this? So what they would do every year is they, they have one. They have a birthday and a big event in July that they didn't want to skimp on, but otherwise they stayed home. And instead of like, okay, we're having mom's meatloaf again, which, God bless you, mom, for making the meatloaf. I, I'm, so impressed. But it's like, okay, we're gonna do cooking lessons in July. That's what we're gonna do. So we're going to cook at home. We're gonna play freezer, bingo. And so somebody would grab something out of the freezer, and then they would put other, ingredients with it. So four other ingredients to make a bingo. And so then they would cook that, she would do every day that they didn't spend something except on some, you know, the, the mortgage, the, the utility bill. But they didn't spend any extra money besides those core things and gas. they would put $10 into a jar and they were saving up for a family activity. So there are so many ways you can do this. And it's like, it's July. And I think parents would get so much relief, not hearing every single day, can we get. Can we. I want, you know, because that'll, you know, that'll drive you to an early grave. So that's one thing to think through. So it's not a punishment, it is a chart for wins as a family. I, I think another thing to do now, I was very, you know, fortunate. My birthday was in June growing up. So if I wanted something, it was either going on the birthday list or the Christmas list. But I don't know that kids grow up with those lists anymore. And my brother was December 20th, so we had to do a half birthday for him. You can be creative. But those running lists of there's something about waiting for something because we've all given our kids something that they really, really want, wanted. And they were underwhelmed because the excitement about it, it wasn't there because, you know, they got it instantly. So having those lists, instead of an instant no saying, hey, let's put that on the birthday list, or grandma always wonders what to get you for Christmas and they feel like Christmas is so far away, it's really not. and then model the pause out loud. let's think of, you know, if you, if you've given your daughter, say, $200 for school clothes, which would be a very generous 11 allowance. And she's going to put the self pause in there because she doesn't want to run out of that money right away. But sometimes we need to build the pause in for our kids. If it's not an absolute yes, let's wait on it. And if you come back to it, in a few days and you're like, oh, that's still something I really want, then maybe that's what you do. But putting the pause in to say, hey, this is a scouting training trip for school clothes. This isn't the buying trip.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Those are all such great ideas, Kathi. And that's why I love the term even. No, low by July. Or if you want to do no by July, but low by July, because that's a great catchphrase once you explain it to your family the first time and say, hey, kids, we're going to, we're going to participate in something called low buy July and we're going to try to see how much money we can save. And maybe you even incentivize them and say, you know, for everybody, every dollar that we save, we'll put 10 cents in a fun fund or whatever it is, your vacation fund. Or maybe that's some, some special thing that you're saving up for. But I think some ways that you can incentivize it instead of saying no, remember this is the month we aren't spending money. No. Remember, we agreed we're not going to buy anything. It's just, hey, remember, low by July, we're all in on the challenge. I think that's so good.

Eating out is a challenge that faces every family

And what you hit on, on eating out is a challenge that faces every family. And I think if families would go back, back and look at their credit card. I know, you know, I get a, report from my credit card, and

Dr. Jessica Peck: I see how much money we.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You spend on eating out, and you kind of think, oh, it's not that much. It's just here or there. It's six or seven dollars here or.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Or there.

Dr. Jessica Peck: You know, just that that's for one person. But of course, you know, for families,

Dr. Jessica Peck: the cost of food has gone up so much.

Dr. Jessica Peck: So something like a cooking class is a great idea that is such a. A fun way to engage. And I think, think the gift that you're going to give your kids in those kinds of things is the gift of your time. So instead of driving out somewhere, somebody picks it up and comes and throws

Dr. Jessica Peck: the food on the counter, which some

Dr. Jessica Peck: nights you got to do that just to survive, right?

Kathi Lipp: Absolutely.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But imagine all those memories that you'd create saying, we're gonna eat around the world now. You know, one thing we've done actually this summer, Kathi, is, we have had food that's themed to the World Cup. Now, I'm not a soccer fan. I don't know anything about soccer.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I could care less. But we had, chicken and waffles the other night with. When us, and Belgium played, and my son made chicken and waffles, and it was so fun. And we had this, like, food fusion and, and. And nobody asked me to go out, which was great.

Dr. Jessica Peck: I.

Kathi Lipp: What it. What you're doing is you're creating special occasions, and you're, you're saying, hey, this is worth investing in, but we're going to invest in it with our time and creativity. That's why, you know, before you go out and you buy new craft items, can we search around the house for things that we thought we wanted in the moment and we never got to? Can we bust out those puzzles that we got for. You know, we were so excited to get at Christmas, but we haven't had time for. And I love what you're doing. You're creating intentional space around something that you and I are probably not going to see in our lifetimes again here in the United States days. You may, I may not. We don't know. But, but to be able to say, hey, this is the way we're going to. And your kids are going to remember to do that with their kids someday.

Dr. Jessica Peck: Oh, because you always encourage me. And we run out of time again. Well, this is until next time. You'll be back next month. We'll have another episode where we'll talk more.

Dr. Jessica Peck: But this has been so, so convicting and so encouraging. And I encourage you to consider what are ways that you can engage in low by July. Maybe you have all the money in the world, but you could divert your money to something. Maybe you're going to sponsor a kid or give money to a charitable cause. There are so many things that you can do as a family. You want to know more? Go to Facebook. Find Kathi Lipp Clutter Free Academy. That's your entry. Message her, tell her you're with me. She'll let you in and and as whatever wherever you are in a clutter journey, I pray the Lord will bless you and keep you and make his face to shine on you. I'll see you next time.

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Jeff Chamblee: opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.