Hamilton: God has called us to be ambassadors even in this dark moment

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Darkness is not an affirmative force. It simply reoccupies the space vacated by the light.

>> Speaker B: This is the, Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It should be uncomfortable for a believer to live as a hypocrite, delivering people

>> Speaker B: out of the bondage of mainstream media and the philosophies of this world.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: God has called you and me to be his ambassadors, even in this dark moment. Let's not miss our moment.

Hamilton Corner broadcasts from the Ark Encounter for culture proof conference 2026

>> Speaker B: And now, the, Hamilton Corner.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Well, welcome to the Hamilton Corner. Abraham Hamilton III is my name. We're broadcasting from the beautiful Ark Encounter. We're in the answer center right now at the Ark Encounter. Delighted to be here, for the culture proof conference 2026. the conference is ongoing. In fact, I will be delivering a keynote address tomorrow afternoon to wrap up the conference. Patti, has been amazing. I've been on a couple panels, been participating in discussions so far, and it's just been a powerful, powerful time here, at the Ark Encounter. Yesterday we were at the Creation Museum. Today we're at the Ark Encounter. And it has been a tremendous blessing. At this very moment, many of you, if not most of you, are making your transition from your part time jobs where you generate an income, to your full time jobs where you cultivate an outcome. And as you do so, I want to remind you to do so with intentionality, understanding the primacy that God places on family and allowing his view to guide, to govern and to guard your view as you engage in being salt and light. And I will say there is no, more important, there is no bigger ministry, no more important ministry than what we do in our homes. We have on site with us, the real J. Mac, making sure we have everything rocking and rolling, for you. But we are, just, just having a tremendous, tremendous, tremendous time here, at the Ark Encounter.

Ephesians 6:4 says fathers do not provoke children to anger

To kick things off, I want to begin the program with Ephesians, chapter Sikes, verse four, a portion of scripture that has just, rocked me. And it's something I want to encourage you with. Very Simply, Ephesians 6:4. it says, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger. Rather bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. As we've discussed on this program many, many, many, many times. What may not be obvious is that this verse is a command. It is a command from the Lord. the reason why that may not be obvious is because in the original manuscripts, the original autographs first and then the manuscripts, the first half of Paul's epistle to the Ephesians is written in the indicative mood. That's where we get, glowing theological passages like, for you are once dead in trespasses and sins. It's indicating who we are now that we're in Christ as a result of being born again, being regenerate. The second half of Paul's epistles, chapters four through six are written in the imperative mood. In Green imperative, an imperative is a synonym for a command. So when the Lord says, fathers, do not provoke your children. Rather, rear them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. That is not a suggestion. That is not a pietistic preference. That is actually a command. And so when we think about things like, this is on a panel talking, to men. And oftentimes, our wives will make this observation. You know, when you talk to the children, they respond to you a bit differently than when I talk to the children. What I want to say to you is that that is not merely a coincidental, observational phenomenon. Is actually connected to God's design for the family. Because we as fathers have a specific role to play in our children's lives, including, as it applies to discipline.

When we think about discipline, we often think about punitive measures

Now, one of the things I want to say, however, is that an environment for discipline to be received has to be established. When we think about discipline, we often think about. Think about it only in terms of. Sometimes, say only in terms of it. And then I say sometimes. What I'm trying to say is we can sometimes think about it only in terms of it being kind of a punitive measure or something like that. But the reality is that the root word to the word discipline is actually disciple. That the express purpose of the application of discipline should be for the believer, for the believing father. It should be for the purposes of cultivating a, Christ likeness, a Christ formation in the heart. And so when we keep that at the center of what we communicate, we should understand a bit better that the application of discipline is not only. Should not only be viewed in terms of a punitive application of anything. It shouldn't be understood as merely a behavioral conformity phenomenon. you can train dogs to salivate on cue, you know, Ivan Pavlov proved that with his Pavlovian experiments. You know, you ring a bell, give a treat, ring a bell, give a treat. We're not invested merely in behavioral conformity. We should nor should we be invested, exclusively in some notion of being personally offended. You know, this happened. Now I am offended this happened. So I'm embarrassed. All of those things are readily obvious and evident to the child. If that is what's transpiring, but what we want to be able to recognize is something like what the Apostle Paul articulated to the Philippians when he talked about with, being as a father to, where the father not only applies discipline to, but also is an encourager. It also, is one that calls not merely to, you need to do this, but we invite our offspring to join us in our pursuit, in helping our offspring to recognize what we're endeavoring to do and to cultivate within our relationship with you is the very same thing that God is endeavoring to cultivate in his relationship with me. The reason why I am, correcting you in this manner is, is because I'm endeavoring to cultivate in you a desire to run with me as we Brice the will of God and the call of God for our lives. And so one of the major things I want to communicate, I want to stress and I want to emphasize is that necessary understanding. Now, when you have this phenomenon in verse four, when it says, fathers, rear your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord in order for there to be fathers and to be children, guess what else is involved in that calculus? It's mothers. So this is not a command that is applicable to fathers exclusively. It's a reference to fathers as being ultimately responsible, very similar to Adam being ultimately responsible for what transpires in the garden. It's not as if God was unaware of the technical order of fruit consumption in the garden, right? But when the rebellion occurs, who does God call for? He calls for Adam as being ultimately responsible, not exclusively responsible. That same understanding is what we should understand in our families. It's not as if our wives Care Net involved in this process at all, but we are the ones who are ultimately responsible. This is also why it is a disservice, and I would argue a biblical malpractice for us as fathers to cede the responsibility for discipline exclusively to our wives. Sometimes, we'll be honest, we as fathers want to be viewed as, you know, kind of good cop, bad cop. And we put our wives in a position, if they are the ones exclusively functioning, in a disciplinary role, but we're on the other side, and we are only responsible or only engaged in the fun stuff, so to speak. We create this dichotomy that is a functional, practical dichotomy, but, but more importantly, being a functional, functional and practical dichotomy, it can be, a biblically violative dichotomy that we have to be involved in it, man.

What goes on in your house, guys, is far more important than White House

And we have to recognize this as you, as we discussed numerous times, before, the word, discipline, or in some translation to say the nurture, an admonition of the Lord. It comes from the Green phrase the Patti and anusia of the Lord. The word Patti literally means the whole training of the mind and the morals. As I've said numerous times, this bifurcation of what we commonly understand as academic discipline from spiritual maturation is not a biblical dichotomy. It's not a biblical dichotomy. The whole training of the mind and the morals is included in this command to rear our children in God's nurture and in his admonition. And then the term neuthesia specifically applies to the application of discipline in appropriate times. When what I'm prayerfully, prayerfully, what I'm hoping that we see and that we understand from this passage is something we say on a regular, regular basis. What goes on in your house, guys, is far more important than what goes on in the White House. It's not to minimize or to denigrate what happens on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Those things are vitally important. They have a role to play. But you and I don't live at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. You know, we participate civically, we vote, we do those things. But. But we have direct responsibility and accountability to God for what transpires in and through our homes. And often what has happened, we've allowed the talking snakes to slither into our gardens and to upset God's order and functioning within, our homes. And then what we see working externally is the fruit of what may or may not have transpired in our homes. But if we would welcome the Lord and re. Enthrone him as Lord of all, starting first and foremost with us as individuals, and then that individual conviction and submission to the Lord is what governs our home life. There's no question as to what can transpire societally if we welcome the Lord to transform us in our home.

Every place where the light retreats, darkness reoccupies

So, as you've heard say, and I never intended for this to become a saying, darkness is not an affirmative force, but it does reoccupy the space that is vacated by the light. So every place where the light retreats, darkness reoccupies. But the reality is that the darkness is not in and of itself internally, potent. It just has a great marketing team. The ubiquity of its presence is often conflated with the notion that it must be potent. But we know this intuitively because nobody goes home after a long workday, say, hey, honey, would you turn the darkness off. We don't say that. Why? Because we know all that is needed to address the darkness and to dispense with it is to turn the light on. So I'm wrapping up. We're getting to the end of this segment.

Rick Green: God has wisdom for us in all of our lives including home lives

The main thing that I pray that you take away from this is the understanding that, you know, God has wisdom for us in all of, the whole of our lives, including our home lives. And if we would, recommit ourselves to submitting our engagement in the function of, of marriage and family and recognize that this is not merely a place of biological Constans or relational happenstance, but God has ordained family as a station of mission and understand that we have the opportunity through our homes do something that no other human institution is equipped to do. The organized church is not equipped to do what the family can do within our homes. Obviously not to gate the church. I'm a member of the Lord's church. But understanding what transpires in the family, it's not the youth pastor's responsibility primarily to make disciples of our children. It's not, it's not the pastor's responsibility primarily, it's the Brandice responsibility. With the father's leading the family, it's our responsibility. And we have to respond in that fashion and respond in that manner. So if we are willing to do so and able to do so, we can enjoy, the benefit by God's grace. And what I'm saying here is, is not about some type of guarantee of perfection. What I am talking about is our commitment to obey what God has commanded of us. And as we endeavor in that fashion, and we submit ourselves in that fashion, we welcome the Lord to lead us in that fashion, by God's grace, that we will see evidence of that. But the most important, line is that we'll be able to Stand before the Lord when we're evaluated. And the scripture tells us plainly about, you know, the, the believer's life being evaluated for the quality of our lives as believers. And when the Lord Krissy us because he will. Psalm 127 explains that children are his heritage. We get the privilege of stewarding them for a season, but they're not our possession. You know, I was sharing in the panel yesterday, because my wife and I have committed to disciple our children from the home, in, through our home, that yes, we are sheltering our children, but we're not sheltering them from the world, we're sheltering them for the world. That as we launch them, as God has ordained us to launch them, that we're able to do so in a fashion where by God's grace they are able to prevail and not be subsumed into this culture, but they will be a part of the Lord's remnant. So that as Psalm 127 explains, that the arrows entrusted to the warriors quiver by the time you get to the end of the psalm, that the arrows have now Green to mature, to become fellow warriors, standing shoulder to shoulder with the warrior and contending against the enemy in the gates. That is what we're seeking to establish, seeking to cultivate and by God's grace, with the sovereignty of his will and the indwelling potency of his spirit as we obey his word, that he is the One that rears us and matures us into where we are, fruit bearing instruments for his glory. So that is what we're seeking to accomplish. By God's grace, we will be able to do so well with that, with the clarity. And you read the entirety of that portion. Obviously, verse one begins with children obeying their Brandice And verse two goes on to explain verse two and three that it is the first command with promise. And verse three even explains that this is necessary so that you may live, long, it may be well with you in the land that the Lord gives you. And so often we see, yes, that's a command. Yes, that's a command. But when we look at this part, fathers, rear your children, and the nurture and admonition of the Lord, the discipline and, and instruction of the Lord, that too is a command. And it is a command that as we yield and submit ourselves to the Lord, as we transition from merely giving offers and becoming the offerings, we enthrone him in our homes, we're able to enjoy that, the evidence of that submission starting first and foremost in our homes. And we work outwardly from there into our communities, into our churches, into society at large. That's what we're striving for.

>> Speaker B: Sam. M. When you look at the fundamental priorities that this administration has, rebuilding the

>> Abraham Hamilton III: American family through the various priorities, ensuring religious, religious freedom is alive and well

>> Speaker B: and flourishing in America, having a Department

>> Abraham Hamilton III: of justice that is actually focused on

>> Speaker B: enforcing the laws of the land, I

>> Abraham Hamilton III: have a hard time disagreeing with any of them. Join Walker Wildmon and Rick Green at

>> Speaker B: the Corps 1pm Central weekdays on AFR or on the AFR app. Shining light into the darkness.

Dannah Hamilton welcomes Dr. Kathi Cook to the Hamilton Corner

This is the Hamilton Corner on American Family Radio.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Welcome back to the Hamilton Corner. I am just delighted to have with me here for the program but we're both here for the culture proof conference 2026. None other than the Dr. Kathi Cook. You have heard of her. On my show, I've talked about a book that she's written that has changed my life and my family's life, titled the eight Great Smarts. Which is why you've heard me even before reading her book. I said it, but now I say it with a bit more refinement, that there is no such thing as an individual who's not smart. We're all smart. We're just smart differently.

>> Speaker B: I love it.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And discovering that is key to understanding who we are and also enabling us to parent and help our children discover who they are. And in that regard, she is the founder of the ministry Celebrate Kids Incorporated. She is a renowned author, speaker, and researcher. And it is my distinct honor and privilege to have you here on the Hamilton Corner.

>> Speaker B: That was really well Dannah happy to be here. Thank you for the privilege.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much for being willing to do so.

Why Celebrate Kids? Because Jesus did so we must, Allie says

Allie start right there with the name of your ministry and organization, Celebrate Kids. You answered this question yesterday. Why Celebrate Kids?

>> Speaker B: Because Jesus did so we must.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen.

>> Speaker B: You know, when Jesus walked on earth, as you know, children were the forgotten generation. They were swept behind, you know, mama's skirts, if you will. And they weren't paid attention to until they had aged up. And yet when the disciples asked Jesus, who among us is the greatest? He called up a child, you know, and I just love picturing the men whispering among themselves, like, did he hear the question right? Because that would have been such a stunning blow to them to have a child be the greatest. And you know the verses about, you know, the faith of a child. And there's a passage in the Psalms where he allowed them to shout in the temple, and there's nothing that's recorded that he said, be quiet, be quiet. You know, he received their praises, he healed children like he held them and he blessed them. And they were Busler than we'll ever be. I mean, he was Busler than we'll ever be, but he slowed down and he stopped and he saw the children and he paid attention to them. And so Celebrate Kids, I, want us to celebrate kids. I want us to pay attention to who they Care Net just to what they do.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen.

>> Speaker B: Because if we pay attention to who they are, their doing will change.

>> Speaker B: We have to recognize them and see them and let them know that we know them.

Patti Backhus: We have eight distinct ways of thinking

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And really, in that same vein, have you written so many Backhus already alluded to the eight great smarts. But I do want to invite you to share a little Patti, about that and why it's such a profound realization to arrive at and so necessary for us as a society to understand that we're all smart.

>> Speaker B: We're just smart differently, right? Dr. Howard Gardner is the researcher of the model psychologists at Harvard and figured out that people behave differently because of their brain, not just their heart. We have eight distinct ways of thinking and it relates to academic pursuit, spiritual development, and how we might, find God attractive, if I can put it that way, how we might disciple people into a different understanding of who God is for us and who Jesus would love to be for us in the spirit. and it relates to friendship and career choice and all of that. So we're Wordsmart. We think with words. we just love to talk. and hello, word smart. And then, yeah, ah, you can laugh. I mean, if you didn't have a microphone, you'd still be talking, right?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It's so funny that you say that. And when I read this in your book, it's like, duh. So in all of my elementary school years, I would have grades and I would have good grades on the academic side. Guess what was always the note put on the side, right?

>> Speaker B: Talks too much. Talks too much.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: he bothers other children. He finishes his work and then he's talking to other children. That, literally, from as early as I can remember, that was a part of my background.

>> Speaker B: Ah, which is why we teach self control, self respect and respect for others. Because otherwise we'd all be a danger to the culture for sure. So, yeah, words smart. We think with words. Logic smart. We think with questions. We'd love to figure things out. picture smart. We think with our eyes in pictures in our mind and on paper. music smart. We think with rhythms and melodies. Body smart. We think with movement and touch. And then there's nature smart. We think with patterns. That's how we know it's a blue bird and not a blue jay. people smart. We think with people. So we talk to people. Wordsmart. People just love the sound of their own voice. We'll just talk, even if no one's listening. But people smart people love to interact and, debate without arguing. We collaborate, we persuade. We enjoy the spoken word, but intentionally and then self smart. Oh my goodness. Self smart People think deeply inside of themselves and they love figuring things out they might never tell anyone. They think deeply and it's about them and I love to tell them. I just told the teenagers this morning that self smart people have a responsibility to share it. Even though their preference is to enjoy it. They have a responsibility to the culture and to the kingdom to share what it is that they've understood. So we have all eight in combination and they're life smarts. Right. They're not just for school. And the purpose of school is to get ready for more of life. The purpose of school is to not get ready for school. So schooling has to do with living life, with intentionality. And when we have all eight, we're just going to have a more abundant life. Which of course is why Jesus came to the cross for us.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen. Amen. Often you illustrate this in the book, what we described as athletic people are people that are body smart.

>> Speaker B: Yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know, and people who are artistically inclined or often picture smart and understanding. Those will enable us to confer with people, but also even raising our own children.

Brandice says Satan cares more about your strengths than your weaknesses

because one of the things that you bring out is often, we are tempted in the area of our smarts.

>> Speaker B: That's right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: And how we can. Like for example, if you're dealing with a child who may be a combination of both words smart and people smart, they may be tempted to utilize not to give a shout out to Spider man, but use their Brice for bad if they're not trained. And we might be thinking our child has a problem with deception, but we may not realize it's the enemy attempting to twist their strength into something he will utilize for nefarious purposes as opposed to being able to disciple that smart into a God honoring, filtered through the fruit of the spirit capacity and ultimately used for God's glory.

>> Speaker B: Oh, I love the way that you said all of that. You know. M the simple example I use is wordsmart. And I'll ask the children how many of you think it's one of your strengths? And then I'll have them hold their hand up if they can. Edify, encourage, tell the truth, build up, and then keep your hand up if you can. Gossip, tease, name call, impress with your vocabulary, demand the last word. And sarcasm is your gift. And, and we don't Sower our hands, we can do it all. It's always a choice to use our intelligences for good or evil. And one of the things that we believe at celebrate kids is that Satan cares more about your strengths than your weaknesses. your weaknesses don't threaten Satan, but your strengths do. Because he wants them for his kingdom. M not God's. And so we will sin out of our strengths. And I think if we interviewed Brandice it's the strengths that drive you nuts about your kids. Now, their weaknesses concern you. I hope that their weaknesses would cause you to, you know, go on your knees and pray and have, you know, conversations with them, certainly. But oftentimes we misbehave out of our strengths because too much of a good thing isn't a good thing. And yet, here's the thing. If I would have been raised, be quiet, be quiet, be quiet. Would you go find something to do? Man, I'm so sick of your talking. I wouldn't be here today on the radio with you. I was raised to speak with honor. And I was also taught to listen. And so, and then I was enrolled in children's theater and my mom and dad said, go talk there a while. And that's a true story. my brother was relieved for that, for that season when I was out of the house for a while. But, you know, I think and the responsibility, right, to, shepherd our kids and to help them use their talent only for good and never for evil. So we teach, be smart with your smarts.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: M. It's also one of the things, and this is the unfortunate reality, and I've seen this in churches to where sometimes we could have people and we elevate them to positions of influence and even maybe a bit of authority based on their giftedness or smart. But we don't give appropriate attention to the character that'd be necessary to shepherd that capacity to shepherd that smart. I really believe that's part of the wisdom of the scripture saying, don't elevate people prematurely. because your gift may get you in the door, but your character is what will sustain you upon entree.

>> Speaker B: Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. I mean, speak that again. We have to do both. We have to teach character. You know, character, I think is the hardest thing for kids to learn because it goes against the sin nature. M. And we believe at Celebrate kids, we teach children. We don't teach content. M. We teach children. The most important thing you'll teach children is about who Jesus is for them and who they are.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Hm.

>> Speaker B: Who did God make you and why did he make you that way for such a time as this? It's critically important and without character, they can't be that. Without my character, without my character for Christ, I would be such a danger. Logic. Smart people can, solve problems or create problems.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Ah, people.

>> Speaker B: Smart people can motivate or manipulate self. Smart people can isolate and become very self centered or they can Think deep thoughts that change the kingdom's work. You know, body smart people can hug and Krissy appropriately or shove their way to the front of the line, hit and bite. You know, so, again, we could look at all of them. but it's about developing your skill set to the glory of God, because he chose it for you. Stop lusting after somebody else's and own who you are and do something good with it. M. I mean, how many minutes do we have?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I mean, there's so much. And that leads to the reality of the first Corinthians 12. Reality that we're one body because we're many members. And this, again, is by God's design. But because of, my audience knows I make a distinction between churchianity and Christianity. Because of modern 21st century Churchianity, we find people that become envious of somebody else's function, not realizing, no, no, God has ordained you for a function. And one of the things that people ignore from 1st Corinthians 12 is that the Bible goes on to say, so that there be no division.

>> Speaker B: Come on.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That there's no division in the church, as we recognize that we all have a place and as we fit, as he has ordained for us that. That the body is edified with no schism. with no division.

>> Speaker B: So good. And I think sometimes. Back to your idea of choosing men for leadership. I think sometimes the quieter men aren't chosen because they have the smarts and the gifts that don't shout from the rooftop, if you will, but they're essential because the way they think is different. The Core up with different questions at a leadership meeting. The Core up with different answers to the questions being asked. And so if you only have word and logic, smart people on a board as an example, logic, smart people think with questions, word, smart with words. You're going to have a very limited understanding of what it is that the church could be doing to the glory of God. I think that's essential. And I think. I mean, I know you can say the same thing, but in the case of my ministry, without the people behind the scenes, you know, I'm the one that's known. My face and my voice is known, and I own that. That's reality. But without my board of directors, my prayer warriors, volunteers, and the people who work with me on staff, there is no way I could do what I do the way I do it. Without my publishing house at Moody, you know, I wouldn't have a book written. So, we need. And those people need to be celebrated and seen appropriately. They don't do it for their glory, but it's appropriate to say thank you, Amen. And we need to do that in the church. We need to see the people who are in the shadows and call them out every once in a while.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It would be pretty helpful if we had something, you know, I don't know, called the Bible that said, you know, those members that are less visible are, worthy of more honor.

Allie: Knowing the Bible and letting it lead is a challenge

I wish that maybe even somebody wrote that book.

>> Speaker B: Allie, that would mean we'd have to let the Bible lead us out, my friend. We'd have to know the Word and then we'd have to let it lead.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh man. Knowing it and letting it lead. What an idea. What a concept.

>> Speaker B: Both of those Care Net as common as maybe they should be. Could be. And I don't know it all. Sower got my favorite passages that I know well.

>> Speaker B: I could get much better at it. but how often do we open the Word? do our children see that we trust it? Only on a Sunday morning. Again, you know, it's a challenge. These are hard days, but they don't have to be as hard as they are. We have guidance. Do we follow it?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen. I don't want to get too far before I say this. Where can people keep up with your work, your ministry, your wonderful books, all that is Dr. Kathi Cook.

>> Speaker B: Oh, that's so kind of you. Celebratekids.com is our website. Celebratekids.com we are on Instagram and Facebook. At Celebrate Kids Inc. We have, a podcast five times a week, sometimes six. And that's celebrate kids with Dr. Kathi would be the podcast channel that you could find us at. And yeah, my books are nine, of them. So privileged to be an author. And they're available on our website and other places. But buy from us because that's just better. If you don't mind m my saying so.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I do not mind. I'll say it. Buy from her. Buy from celebrate kids inceleratekids.org.com celebrate kids.com, i have it right here. Celebrate kids.com buy from there.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, Stier I appreciate that. And my last name is spelled K O C H. So if you Google me, which you are welcome to do, spell it right, otherwise I don't know what you'll find. But K O C H. But that's why I go by Dr. Kathi professionally. It's just easier since my last name is just weird.

Brandice, you wrote a book about adult children called Resolve Conflict

>> Abraham Hamilton III: so one of the books before we came on, you mentioned, and I mentioned to you that I did a show Monday on estrangement having to do with, adult children, severing relationship oftentimes for good with their Brandice And you wrote a book that just came out in April. Would you share the title and then talk a little bit about what you have available for us in that book?

>> Speaker B: I'd be honored to. Thank you. It's called Resolve Conflict and Find Peace and Hope with Adult Children. Conversations and Strategies that work. So I wrote it primarily for the parent of the adult children. However, I know adult children have been reading it and they've been appreciating the wisdom as well. I do talk about estrangement. there's information in the book about what could cause that to Hoppen However, you know me Allie a solution focused person. So the book is about what do we do and so how can we prevent this from happening? If you read it with younger children in mind and if it has happened, then, yeah, enough about why, so that you know how to repair. But chapter on marriage, chapter on grandkids, chapter on the prodigal, chapter on look at yourself first, which a lot of people have admitted they've wanted to skip, which I don't recommend. first chapter has, core ideas about don't idolize your kids. Parent, is a noun. You can't parent as a verb when you have adult children unless they Allie you to do so. That's important. When I interviewed people, the number of people who told me it was disrespectful, like these adult kids who are still being parented and, and they want to now live life and be independent, and they're willing to now suffer the consequences of their foolishness. So moms and dads need to back off and let them become adults. And that's hard, especially if you've been idolizing them, which, again, this is meant to be an intro, but, we parent as a verb only when they're younger. We parent as a noun forever. But now when they're older, we get to guide in counsel and support and coach and Cheri But you know what I know, and that is that all unsolicited advice comes across as criticism. That's a Jim Burns statement, and I think it's spot on. All unsolicited advice comes across as criticism. And I think the parent is still wanting to parent. I understand that. Of course you do. And yet they're adults. And we need to learn to pray and be quiet, to ask different questions. There's chapters on conversations and communication. So because it's tough. It was a hard book to write, but it needed to be written. And I'm glad that the Lord allowed me to step into this space. And I'm so glad you had a show on it because it's a mess out there.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah. I'm planning to do more shows on it. I want to have you back.

>> Speaker B: Let's do it.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: To discuss it. And one of the things I love about you is that you're not only a speaker and author, but you're a researcher. And so you have empirical, data to support, your assertions that are helpful for all of us, to navigate the time that we're in.

Todd Herman: Having to do with providing relevant questions to our children

We have about a minute before we get to break. so I don't want to introduce something that we can't get to fully, but also don't want to leave our audience here hanging because when we come back on the other side of the break, I want to pick up on a theme that you, introduced in the, in the conversation we had yesterday here at the Culture Proof Conference.

>> Speaker B: Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Having to do with questions providing. I'm Sower Having to do with Brandice providing relevant questions to our children. You heard when I was starting in the beginning, Ephesians 6, that this is our job to nurture, to re our children to nurture and in admonition of the Lord. And asking relevant questions will aid us in doing that.

>> Speaker B: Yeah. And then using relevant answers from Scripture.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That's what we'll get to when we get right back after this break.

>> Speaker B: Jesus Christ never once said, your delusion defines you. Keep it up. Christ, in fact, peeled the skin away from Paul's Izabella identified as a judge and jury theologically to go out and kill Christians. And then Jesus struck him blind on the road, introduced himself, I'm Christ, who you're crucifying, peeled the scales back, and Paul never returned to that life of sin. Hear Todd Herman on a Disciples view, weekdays 12:00pm Central on AFR, The Hamilton quarter podcast. And one minute commentaries are [email protected] back to the Hamilton corner on American Family Radio.

Brandice says it's important to ask relevant questions to children

>> Abraham Hamilton III: All right, we're in the final segment, unfortunately for me and for you, with Dr. Kathi And we, set up the question before, during a panel that we both were on yesterday, you brought up the notion that it's necessary for us as Brandice to ask relevant questions to our children. because of course, the word of God is relevant in its entirety. But I'll say it this way. There's a Quote that's attributed to George Washington, that says a soldier, best dressed in full battle regalia, who shows up on any battlefield except the one in which the war is raging. That purported soldier is a coward. Whoa. Dressed, armed, on every field except where the fight is actually taking place. That soldier's a coward.

>> Speaker B: Oh, that's, true.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: That is what I thought of last night when you said what you said about asking relevant questions that will by necessity require us to provide relevant, biblically anchored answers. Would you expound for this audience, on what you mean when you say Brandice need to ask relevant questions?

>> Speaker B: Yeah, you know, do we know our kids? Do we know what they're struggling with? What keeps them up at night? What might be a cause of worry and anxiety? Stress? Confusion. Confusions of the devil. So are we observing our kids well enough to know what's going on? Do we, And we can't say, hey, are you depressed? Because we say, are you depressed? Now they're depressed or they're thinking, or if you say to a kid, are you anxious? If they're not anxious, now they think they might be anxious. And now they're anxious because they know they're not supposed to be anxious. And I don't know about you, but I don't know if I'm anxious. So how would a 14 year old know if what I'm feeling is considered anxious or anxiety? So instead we can say, hey, I've noticed a change in your attitude. What's up? Or I've noticed that you're not helping out in the kitchen as much as you normally do and it Lexie like you're avoiding me. So you don't want to talk. So what's going on? Because here's the thing. evidence doesn't lie. So you see what's going on and that's what forms the question in your mind. And so if you don't ask relevant questions, they don't think that you observe them, and they don't think that you really know them. And then the major point for me is that the Bible has got to be relevant for our kids. Now, again, you just said it. Every verse in the Bible is supposed to be there. It wouldn't be there. Right? Like, all of it's inspired, all of it's authentic, all of it's powerful. It's all supposed to be there. But if you don't mind my saying so, it's not all relevant in the moment to every person. So if our children are struggling with. Here's an example. They're struggling with pleasure. They're putting their security in pleasure. They believe they have a right to be happy all the time. So happiness is their priority. So as an example, they make decisions to stay happy. Effort won't make me happy. Obedience in this moment might not make me happy. You know, doing the spelling, challenge words, that's not going to make me happy. So they're making decisions based on happiness. So I think we need to possibly ask them, why is that? Why has that become their priority? So if we understand the root of it, we can, we can teach against that. But here's the thing. If we know that our kids are prioritizing pleasure and happiness, what's the scripture teach about that? Well, the holy, accurate, transforming word of God that I've read prioritizes joy, not happiness. Happiness happens. Happiness is circumstantial. Happiness can't be controlled. I certainly can't control mine, much less yours. And if your job is to make me happy, then I'm going to try to control you. It's not biblically appropriate at all, but joy is in Jesus.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen.

>> Speaker B: Joy is a result of a relationship that we have that is permanent. Do we lean into that?

>> Speaker B: And do we make decisions so that joy will be evident? Or do we make decisions so that we're robbed of the very gift of joy because we know that we have sinned against God and there's going to be maybe a chasm and a separation of sorts. And so our spirit is grieving because God is grieving and we should be sad when we sin. Right. So let's teach that.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: That's just one example. Let's show them that the decisions they're making are cultural and not biblical. And let's open the word of God and teach the scripture that they recognize as valuable. Because you know what if we don't? And I've talked to kids, talked to thousands of kids, if we don't use the scripture in a relevant way for their issues, they'll think the Bible's irrelevant and that God doesn't know them. We can't afford for that to Hoppen So we have to teach truth from scripture. That is truth that they need now. So they wake up changed by At the Core home from school or they Comes Home from soccer practice, they go, dad, dad, that verse in devotions last night that showed up today at soccer practice, that's what we need.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: Does it make sense?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. And it's just much of the conversation and many of us might not want to confront it.

One of the things confronting our children all around the country is human sexuality

But the reality is, because of the pervasiveness of the culture, the reality of technology sometimes used for ill purposes, one of the things that is confronting our children all around the country is the issue of human sexuality. It's such a prevalent phenomenon. And, it's just, you know, I tell this story anecdotally. One time I was in rural Virginia. It was a child dropped off from a school bus, going to a farmhouse, clearly a farmhouse. The child got about maybe 15ft from their front door, start doing, Lexie like the little TikTok dances. you know, and I don't know these people, I don't know them personally, but I think I'm pretty safe in saying I'm pretty sure that little child didn't learn that inside that farmhouse. I'm pretty sure he didn't learn that in the farmhouse. You know, where did he learn it from? Somebody has some device somewhere. And so the reality of the culture is coming into that farmhouse. That's not something that the Brandice cultivated more than likely.

>> Speaker B: Right.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know, it's something that the culture is bringing into the farmhouse. And so on the issue of relevance, you alluded to this last night. The percentage of young ladies who. Young girls who are identifying themselves in ways that would be contrary to what the scripture teaches. Is something we have to address that wouldn't necessarily be the time to talk about, I don't know, punctuality.

>> Speaker B: Come on. Right, right. Or kind of. My joke line, if you don't mind, is the miracles of Christ.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: So one of my joke lines is we don't need another VBS about the miracles of Christ. Now hear me. Don't turn off the radio. Like, did Jesus perform miracles? Yes. Does he still? Yes. Is it important to know that?

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yes.

>> Speaker B: But there's a moment where we choose to go there. If we're talking to kids about their sexuality and their decision to be trans. And we know that they're on social media and in places that they ought not be. That's what we talk about. And we go back to Genesis and we talk about Ephesians and we talk about God's design of the family and what makes, a man, an appropriate, manly, Christian man, if you will, masculine man. And what makes a woman appropriately. a feminine woman who's clearly, you know, seeking the Lord's attention, if you will. So, yeah, yeah.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: There are such competing interests. And one of the things that just is. Is galling is our society teaches us to outsource everything concerning our Children.

>> Speaker B: That's true.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Even attention to our children. And so in order to ask relevant questions, we have to be engaged sufficiently with our children. you know, this again, is anecdotally, but I knew a person who could tell you every news headline. He could tell you what Trump ate for dinner, he could tell you the inner workings of Air Force One, Patti, didn't know what his teenage child had on their device.

>> Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, it is understandable. Brandice are busy. Brandice are choosing to be busy with the things that are keeping them busy. if you've chosen to have children, if you're a grandparent listening, and you've stepped into a really important grandparent space, God bless you, take it seriously. Because you know what? The superpower we have is to know our children. If they think we don't know them, AI knows them. the reality is, right now, AI would love to be a companion to all the kids. And we know that we podcast about that regularly. So we have got to make sure that we know what turns them on and what ticks them off and what are the desires of the heart and what are the concerns of their spirit, and what do they dream about and what do they hope for, and what hopes have they lost Stier of, Et cetera, et cetera. And why did God make them them for such a time as this? Like, you're a word smart person, therefore, I can't wait to see what God's going to do with that, et cetera, et cetera. Because we have to know them. And here's the thing. And your audience knows this because your audience is mature. Because I, love that the word of God is your standard. We're known by our creator. Before we were knit together in our mother's womb, he knew us. And he chose for us to be male or female, taller, shorter, and gifted in this way, or that he chose all that for us. He knows us intimately, so we're drawn to people who know us. M m. So if you don't know your kids, they're going to find somebody who does. And it might be the kid on the corner, and that kid now has power. It might be the star that you don't even know they're following on X, and they actually think that that star knows them. Or it's going to be a chatbot who manipulates and only tells them what's right, never tells them what's wrong. And so, of course, they're drawn to that. So we have to be in the space with our kids, live in the living Room and get out of the, if you will, the man cave and the Pinterest room. And that's, I'm aging myself, but man, just live in the living room and spend time.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: One of the things that's consistently confronting me, and it's. I get a real time check. I'm watching my children Greene. I have two taller than my wife. And, you know, she's not short, but she's not the tallest. She's five, six. You know, they're reminders to me that the opportunities that we have with our children. The window is really this short.

>> Speaker B: Oh, come on.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: You know, and you get mulligans in golf, but no mulligans with our children. No mulligans. I can't. My oldest is 15. I can't go back now to 10 and 11 and 12. No. And there's an urgency in my heart for my own children, but an urgency in my heart for this audience that God has allowed me access to for their children and their grandchildren.

Brandice: It's never too late to prioritize your kids

What, would you say in light of what I'm sharing now that, you know, we have about this amount of time to do what needs to be done? Our friend, Dr. Barnard, says that worldviews usually are crystallized by about 13 years old.

>> Speaker B: Right, Right. So I want to say first, I mean, thank you for your passion for all this, but let me say it's never too late.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Amen.

>> Speaker B: You know, to the listeners who are like, they feel like they've done everything wrong. They don't even know what a biblical worldview is themselves. Or they've allowed their kids to get a job and also play two sports. And, you know, they're just very involved out of the home. It's never too late. You can bring them back. And your oldest kid is always your guinea pig. Always, forever. And they know that you experiment on them. You know, they're the first one that you try a new bedtime with or, you know, whatever the case may be. So you sit down with your kids and you say, man, we owe you an apology. You know, we haven't prioritized you the way that we know God wants us to. Would you please forgive us for putting our own wants and Lexie first? And we've made some changes. And, you know, you know, I'm going to quit church Cheri for a season because it's one more night I'm out of the home, and I need to be here. And, you know, we're going to invite you to, you know, answer our questions and share your stories with Us, could we try again to get back to what we used to have? Or maybe we've never had it. You know, a sad story that's anecdotal for me would be a 13 year old boy who, on his 13th birthday, he said to me, now my Brandice care. I mean, this is so tragic, I even hate remembering it. He said, I don't think they've ever asked me where I'm going or who I'm with. But Now I turn 13 and now they want to know what I'm doing tonight. Dr. Kathi I just turned 13. Like, what did I do wrong? What happened that The Core now? And you and I know why The Core now because the culture is screaming, the older they get, the harder it is. So if you're listening, you've got young kids. Start now, with going on a walk and a talk and going bowling. Even if you don't like it. It doesn't matter if you like it. If your kid wants to bowl, go bowling or whatever the case may be and get involved and get a life and prioritize them and choose to be busy with them. Volunteer together, serve together, together. Play a card game, you know, kick a rock. If, you're going to be on a screen, do it together. But otherwise get off the screens and spend time together and let your kids know that they're the most important thing. Your, wife. You guys are married. It's got to be the husband and wife. First. Celebrate the marriage. Good heavens. And then you celebrate the kids. Let them celebrate you. Make sure that they know who you are and why you are the who you are and what turns you on and what ticks you off and what you're concerned about. Family values. Why is your family. Why is your family a family? To share the family values. Why did God put you together? Perfectly imperfect. Share the values. Are you doing that? So again, we could talk all day, but I think I really appreciate the chance to communicate that it is not too late to make a change and the kids don't have to ask for it and they don't have to say thank you. You do it because you're the parent and the scripture teaches you to and you ask them to cooperate with you and you don't give up. Don't give up. Keep asking the questions. I've written so much about conversations and, how to ask better questions and how to respond to the answers. We can get better at it.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: M. I'm so grateful that you offered, that encouragement because that's one of the things as I travel and minister, and as I get, notes from listeners and viewers, that's one of the things that I hear consistently, Abe. I wish I would have known that, then. Yeah, and I'm sure you probably get it more than I do.

>> Speaker B: I hear it all the time. And I'll say, yeah, you didn't know it then, but you know it now. And the other thing I say, Abe, is they did the best they knew how to do in that moment. Even in my new book for Brandice of adult children, I write about, you know, being careful of looking back with today's wisdom. You look back with today's wisdom, of course you're going to be harsh on yourself, but you didn't know then what you know now. So give yourself grace and mercy, and if your kids are blaming you, like, hey, I didn't know that. But I wasn't even a believer back then. Or I was a babe in Christ when you were a preteen. And I know that I made mistakes. And let's walk this out together and let's have an honest conversation. But, son, you're being harsh. And I think we Stand up for ourselves there. So, yeah, they didn't know it, but now they do. And this is why. Now we can make a change, and we can forsake the past. But you know what's hard? Parenting has a public history, which makes it hard to change. there's a pattern to our parenting, and it's public. It's hard to change. But you can change when you invite the children to partner with you, because the kids are like, you read another book, didn't you, dad? You know, so share the rule book. Can you imagine if only the refs knew the rules for the football team? It would be a disaster.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Yeah.

>> Speaker B: Or what if there was a football team and there were no boundary lines and no judges and refs? That's also a disaster. So gotta team it. We gotta figure out how to team it. It's not too late. We can do it.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: Oh, Dr. Kathi I could talk to you forever.

David Frum: Thank you so much for being on the program

>> Speaker B: Thank you. Me, I so enjoy being here, but

>> Abraham Hamilton III: I don't have forever. But for now, thank you so much for being on the program. We have to have you back on the Hamilton corner.

>> Speaker B: I would be honored to do that.

>> Abraham Hamilton III: It would be our pleasure. You all have a great evening. May the Lord bless you and your families that you.

>> Speaker B: The views and opinions expressed in this broadcast may not necessarily reflect those of the American Family association or American Family Radio.

0:00 - 15:00. Ephesians 6:4 (NASB95). If we don’t answer our children’s questions someone else will, often with an answer that isn’t Truth.

15:00 - 31:00. Dr. Kathy Koch, Founder of Celebrate Kids, Inc. and renowned Author, Speaker, and Researcher, steps into “The Corner” for the first time.

31:00 - 48:00. Asking questions isn’t synonymous with asking relevant questions.

https://celebratekids.com

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